Why horses don’t make New Year’s resolutions

Starting January 1, 2022, I will eat only low sugar hay. I will not bolt my feed. I will gratefully accept low sugar treats from my mom because I know she has my best interest at heart. I will stop harassing that little upstart of a filly and mentor her instead. I will walk 22 times around my field every day and drink more water. Signed, Farletta

Yeah, right. Horses don’t make New Year’s resolutions.

I STOPPED MAKING NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS years ago, mostly because the idea of making a change (often a dramatic behavior change) literally overnight is ridiculous. Add to that the fact that most resolutions are broken within the first few days of the New Year (because of aforementioned ridiculousness) and you have a recipe for failure with a side of disappointment, drizzled with a sauce of bitter shame. Not very appetizing.

Not until I wrote that little paragraph from Farletta did I truly realize how unrealistic the kind of “cold turkey” style New Year’s resolution I used to subject myself to, is. Behavior change takes time, lots of it. If you’ve trained a horse before, you likely understand this. Training a horse (aka behavior change) is all about laying a solid foundation–ensuring the horse has all the pieces she needs before asking for the more complicated maneuver. If you don’t have the horse physically and mentally prepared to learn a new maneuver (behavior), you will not be successful. The same is true for us.

IN LIEU OF THE “COLD TURKEY/SUCCEED OR DIE trying” type of resolution, I prefer to set some goals for the year–a list of things I’d like to accomplish. The goals on the list fall into two types: 1) something I’ve already started laying the ground work for (such as my 2021 goal of publishing my book, previous years’ goals were some of the steps to make that ultimate goal), or 2) things that are the ground work for a future, bigger goal. This list becomes a sort of treasure hunt for the year.

There is no punishment if I don’t meet a goal, only celebration when I do. Throughout the year, I refer back to my list to see how I’m doing on my goals and where I need to adjust my path to reach them. Sometimes this means breaking the goal down into smaller steps.

When I reach a goal, I mark the date next to it. The trick is to make each goal something I can realistically accomplish. If you are totally out of shape and completely sedentary on 12/31, setting a goal to win a marathon in the new year is probably not your best choice. Break your goal down into manageable bites. Maybe winning the marathon is a better goal for 2024 and entering a 5k is more realistic for 2022. Or break it down more than that–whatever it takes to make it so you can accomplish it.

THIS HAS WORKED fairly well for me. It allows me to have lots of little victories which motivates me to keep going. Have I made any huge life-altering changes? Actually, yes, but you wouldn’t know by looking at an individual list. Instead each year I chip away at the larger goals, challenging myself a little more each year, and laying the ground work for greater changes down the line. The change between 2020 and 2021…not so noticeable, but between 2015 and 2021…pretty darn impressive.

If you have that nagging voice in your head (like me) you might be thinking I’m being too soft and squishy making little goals that are easy to achieve instead of big, dramatic changes. But, just as you wouldn’t try to teach your horse a leg yield without laying the groundwork needed to build the strength, balance, and suppleness to do the maneuver correctly, wouldn’t it be great to give ourselves the same time, shaping, and care in reaching our own goals?

BELOW IS A PICTURE from my journal of my 2021 list. These goals center around personal growth, developing my equine bodywork skills, and the next steps to becoming a successful author. Yay! I reached many of my goals.

The book signing/reading didn’t look quite like I’d planned. I sold/signed books at a tack sale earlier this month so I’m calling that a win (that’s breaking it down, making it smaller). As for the reading, it’s not the 11:59 pm on 12/31 yet–I am breaking this down to a smaller scale so I can reach it (stay tuned!).

Regarding the second to last goal, that one is not so easy to measure. By working on myself, I am more available to help others. While I haven’t discovered anything specifically that I’ve done to meet this goal, I remind myself that often we never learn how the things we do and decisions we make affect others–so there’s hope. There is always hope.

Wishing you much peace, love, and every happiness in the year to come. You are amazing! Thank you for joining me on this journey, I’m glad you’re here.

How about you? How do you approach the idea of New Year’s resolutions? Any tips, goals, successes you’d like to share? I’d love to read your comments below!

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