Vaccinoffee, A \/@ccine with Every Coffee

Vaccinoffee, A \/@ccine with Every Coffee

In the year 2027, a string of coffee shops in New York City became wildly successful after offering a vaccination with every double expresso.  Years ago, the Covid vaccine passed into extinction along with all the old viruses.  Instead, we now have new viruses, 365 of them, and the drug industry has invented 365 new vaccines for various scary diseases hyped incessantly in the media.  And in order to maintain a valid vaccine passport, one must receive a different vaccination each day for 365 days.  How convenient can this be? The waitress jabs your arm as she brings your morning coffee.  Started by a 22 year old college drop out entrepreneur, named Seymour Smucklinberger, his brainstorm was called ” Vaccinoffee”.  After going nation wide, the business was acquired in a leveraged buy out by Amazon making Seymour the youngest billionaire in New Jersey.

Once acquired by Amazon, the Vaccinoffee coffee shops expanded further, now offering PCR testing and antibody testing for the 365 new viral diseases.  A large machine at the front of the store validated your Vaccine Passport, and at the same time, video cameras used facial recognition software to alert local police of your location, should you have any outstanding “violations”.

The 365 vaccines were incredibly safe, and no adverse reactions were ever recorded.  Heart attacks and strokes in the patrons were quite common in the Vaccinoffee shops, not causally related to the vaccine of course, explained as merely a coincidence.

In 2028, a rebel leader by the name of William Ashbury along with a large following on social media denounced the 365 vaccination program as a fraudulent program to enslave the population, and large unruly mobs of thugs dressed in black rioted in every major city targeting the Vaccinoffee shops.  Thousands were arrested and held in prison indefinitely.   It was somehow leaked that William Ashbury was an FBI operative, which explained why he was never arrested, searched or indicted.

The next great billionaire enterpreneur made his fortune by selling breakfast cereal with a ready to use vaccine in each box, calling them Cheery-Vax and Wheaty-Vax.  Not to be out-done, fast food franchises added vaccines to each menu item, thus the Double Cheeseburger-Vax was born.  It was not uncommon for every citizen to have a vaccine with every meal, breakfast lunch and dinner, organic of course.

People started complaining about difficulty getting all the vaccines every day.  It seems there just wasn’t enough time in the day to get them all, and then have the mandatory meetings twice a day at work discussing the virtues of vaccines.  All employers were mandated to have “Vaccine Virtue Breaks”.  During this time, people were encouraged to talk among themselves about the wonders of vaccines, the greatest medical invention in history.  It was not uncommon for people to start crying for joy and gratitude, and to take up a collection for the less fortunate.

The unvaccinated were considered an abhorrent disease ridden enemy.  Any contact with an unvaccinated person must be immediately reported to the “Vaccine Police” who then do “contact tracing” of all associated people.  Facial recognition software and GPS tracking is used to its full extent.  The citizen must then undergo decontamination, a lengthy and expensive process which takes weeks or months to complete.

In the year 2027, the average citizen was happy with this new world of Vacinoffeee shops and Vaccine Passports, and wondered why people didn’t always do it this way?

This is The End

This has been a science fiction essay in the future year 2027.  any resemblance to people, things or events is purely a coincidence and unintentional.  This fictional essay by the author and is copyrighted 2021 and is protected as Free Speech by the Second Amendment of the Constitution.  Comments may be entered below. Any nasty comments will be reported to the “thought police”.

Jeffrey Dach MD
7450 Griffin Road Suite 180/190
Davie, Florida 33314
954 792-4663

header image courtesy of wikimedia commons

 

 

 

Published on September 23rd, 2021 by Jeffrey Dach MD

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