“My late husband had a quote he’d say at the end of all his...

“My late husband had a quote he’d say at the end of all his podcast episodes: ‘Dream those dreams. Then live those dreams.’ He never seemed to mention that he could only live those dreams because his wife was at home with the kids. I never intended to have so many children. I was a womanist before I knew what the word meant. I was president of the student council. I skipped three grades in math. I went to Barnard. But my boyfriend and I became pregnant when we were young. We made the choice to get married, and after that it became this whole different chapter: cooking, cleaning, homework, dance, soccer. We raised four wonderful children together. And I enjoyed so much of it. But sometimes it could seem like everything I did was connected to another person. My husband tried in his own way. He understood the importance of presence. And he did learn to cook three good dishes. But at the end of the day, his projects always took precedence. Because he was ‘dreaming those dreams.’ His schedule was the ‘inflexible’ one. There might be discussions, or arguments, but all he had to do was say ‘business’ and that was the end of it. I did have my tricks for claiming my time. I never just exercised, I took classes. My Zumba class was at 7 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It was on paper. So he had no choice, he had to be home. I also did a lot of private tutoring. Sometimes I’d do it with a baby strapped to my chest, but at least I was putting those math skills to work. But I always wanted something more. I wanted a physical space to call my own. So when my children got a little older, and this storefront became available near my house, I teamed up with some friends and we took the leap. The bakery opened on my birthday. And it gave me the best present of all, a place I had to be. Something inflexible. Like a permanent Zumba class. And there was nothing to discuss, because at the end of the day, it was business. I remember the day we opened, there was a moment when my husband tried to walk back into the kitchen. But I stopped him. Because only employees were allowed in the back. This was not his space. And it wasn’t our space. It was my space.”  #comebacknyc