A Game of (Horny) Thrones

I'm slightly hesitant to post this review, since it's on a book that is (or was) quite controversial. I stumbled upon a book called The Game by Neil Strauss and became intrigued. It's a memoir of sorts that shows how Neil, an author and journalist, entered the seedy then-underground culture of pick-up artists (PUA) on the suggestion of a writing agent/publisher type person. He quickly goes from curiosity to becoming one of the most famed PUAs in the internet age.

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss


My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Reading The Game by Neil Strauss was a lot like walking through a zoo and noticing a giraffe humping a llama: bizarre, unbelievable, curious, and yet somehow entirely unsurprising. In short, I could not turn away.

The novel was—at once—sad, funny, uplifting, degrading, and eye-opening. The author paints an interesting picture that focuses not just on the methods and results, but the true motivation of most PUAs: inadequacies. Most have a hole, a void that needs filling and they think bedding women is the answer. In this, they are no different than gamblers, addicts, sales people, or Republicans (just kidding).

The methods aren't mind-blowing. The PUAs rely on carefully crafted plans and methods designed for a specific purpose. I was surprised to see just how similar some of the similarities to the sales techniques managers at fine retail establishments like Best Buy and Circuit City (may you rest in peace). Ask open-ended questions, don't allow the person the chance to say no, exploit desires, and close the sale. Differences are they of course (sales people usually don't intentionally blow off customers or try and belittle them), but it boils down to pure manipulation: some will resist and others will cave.

Three take aways from this book:

1. Using a scripted plan along with the ability to adjust on the fly while maintaining confidence is a good way to get women.
2. Once you master these techniques, you will be able to have anyone who has a desire for it, hidden or otherwise, but you will eventually lose interest.
3. Tom Cruise is a pretty chill guy.

While some have commented on the immorality of the pick-up culture, I think they overlook the fact that most pick-up artists aren't doing anything wrong, per se. A woman won't go home with a man unless she wants to. Alcohol is a gateway to tossing out inhibition. A woman has to want it on some level. Drugging, drunking, crunking, and other methods used in rape are not part of the game. Also ignored is how this could be twisted 180 and used against men by women for the very same reasons.

There are dangers though. Even the most well intentioned person can and probably will lose control after being pushed past the brink of arousal. Also, for every ten nerds, geeks, and otherwise normal but socially inadequate fellows, there is one who will use the knowledge for ill gains. Some of the "forbidden methods" (October Man, Gemini, Closed Door) are horribly manipulative, praying on fear and other emotions to gain the target. Gladly, these were left out of the novel.

All in all, it was an interesting look into a sect of society that was mostly underground until Neil published this book.





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