New Rules For Tipping at the Airport Hilton

Tip the guy opening the door because he doesn't wear a hat.
Tip the beautiful woman waiting with you at the elevator
because she found your wallet beside the pool.
Tip her again because she gave you three children and still
accompanies you on weekend excursions to airport hotels.
Tip the boy who brought champagne to the wrong room.
Tip the bed sheets for no signs of lice or bed bugs.
Tip the thickness of the walls, airtight windows, non-belching
pipes and all the angels who watched over you last night
preventing weird or repetitive noises from coming your way.
Tip the concierge because that's what you do.
Tip the eggs benedict that turned over and dripped down
onto your fork and tip the bacon who died that you might live.
Tip the sky, blue as a balloon, because it is sky, and not a roof
over a roof over a roof, and that it leads you up and out of this place.