Revisions Ten

Ten Things to Do While Working on Requested Revisions
(dedicated to me and Raine and every other writer out there working on revisions this week.)

Avoid e-mailing your friends who work as editors and asking them things like "Do you all belong to one big crazy club, or what?"

Don't answer comments or queries until you are feeling calm, cooperative and understanding, or the chocolate-covered Valium finally kicks in; whichever comes first.

Follow the directions on your writer's revision towel.

Invoke the Writer's Revision Serenity Prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things my editor wants to change; the courage to change at least 75% of the things that I want to STET; and the wisdom not to mouth off about any of it.

Print out an extra copy of your editor's revisions request letter and (just for your own amusement) edit it. Go on, you know you want to.

Realize that you're in good company.

Remember while on the phone discussing revisions with your editor that you have the right to remain silent, and why.

Remove all firearms, lethal doses of drugs, ropes, sharp objects and telephones from arm's reach of your computer desk.

Repeat your revisions mantra: OMigod. OMigod. OMigod.

When all else fails, remind yourself of how lucky you are, because while you have to deal with 1 editor, your editor probably has to deal with at least 26 yous.