“We came to America when I was two. My father worked as an...

“We came to America when I was two. My father worked as an engineer for a bunch of different tech companies. I’ve always felt like an American. My parents told me that I could be anything I wanted. I do remember them saying I couldn’t get a job when I turned sixteen, but I assumed it was a typical Indian household protecting their daughter. So I focused all my energy into making good grades and getting into college. I finished my applications early. But when I showed them to my mom, she zoned in on one particular part. ‘Be sure to mark that you’re an international student,’ she said. She explained that because of my H4 visa status, the selection process would be much tougher. And I wouldn’t qualify for financial aid. I was devastated. I’d done everything right. I took 14 honors classes. I was 4th in my class. I was even a national champion in artistic roller skating. But none of that seemed to matter. There was a chance I couldn’t even go to college in America. I cried for the entire day, and for the rest of the year my mental health took a really bad hit. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, worried about my future. A lot of those fears didn’t come true. But it has been tough. I was waitlisted at all my top choices. I ended up getting into a good school, but I couldn’t study the arts like I wanted. I couldn’t have the social life I wanted. I’ve had to make every decision based on what gives me the best chance of staying in the country. It’s like I’m always playing a game. And if I mess up once, I’ll need to leave. For a long time I carried a lot of anger. I was jealous of my younger brother for being born here. I was mad at my parents for not telling me. But both of them were born in a village. They gave up so much to be here. They went years at a time without seeing their families. How could I be mad when they sacrificed so much? I think they were afraid of discouraging me. They were focused on me being OK in the moment, and they assumed it would all work out. The American Dream is so well marketed. And when you get here, it feels so close. Like if you just work hard, everything will fall into place. And I think that’s what they always believed for me.”