A Baby Step is Also the First Step

 On May 6, 2020, I had the honor to be interviewed by Forensic Artist, Diana Trepkov, for her new podcast, Can I Help Find Your Missing Loved One? , to talk about my sister's kidnapping case. After the interview, instead of my normal follow-up, I headed out the door to volunteer at the local food pantry.

After interviews about my sister's kidnapping case I usually take time to reflect and calm my thoughts and mind. The emotional drain following an interview overwhelms me. I scheduled this interview before heading to the pantry for food distribution because I knew the interviewer and was relaxed. I didn't anticipate the tears or drain. I wanted to call and cancel but I don't like to cancel when others expect me. Plus, it is uplifting to help others and give back. Life isn't supposed to be a self-pity-party, we are called to be ambassadors, receiving an internal joy for being there for others. The food pantry had our busiest night, as of that date, and we were all busting our bums to keep up. I don't know if it was the mental distraction, the never-ending line, or the combination thereof but one thing I do know...my mind and body were not working together.

I knew boxes were stacked there and I had worked around them for an hour but in one instance I forgot and my foot caught the corner and off I flew then landed. My hands and arms were scratched but my knees took the hit, literally. The left was sore but my right knee swelled immediately and thanks to COVID-19, it took three days to get into to actually see the doctor.

I called the doctor that night, it was a Friday, and if it wasn't better I was to call the office on Monday. I saw my primary for a consult and x-rays on Monday. X-rays showed no breaks, just fluid and swelling so he'd follow up later in the week. By Wednesday the pain was so bad I called the orthopedic I saw two years ago and scheduled an appointment. They didn't have an opening until the following week due to COVID-19 guidelines. Ugh, I think the world hasn't forgotten that other medical needs happen and require attention in a timely manner. I don't blame the doctors, as they are following guidelines, but goodness, those making decisions need to remember some people need medical treatment unrelated to the current pandemic. (Rant done) Two months later and two trips to the orthopedic, and physical therapy twice a week, and daily home exercises. I drafted this blog a week ago and the next line read, "My knee is getting stronger and doing better each day." with hopeful and promising words to follow BUT I needed to modify the original post since this week, the pain and swelling seems to have taken a step backward.

At physical therapy today, I was quite down as the exercises I did last week with ease were a challenge today, and one I couldn't even do. I had to lower weights and half the time on the bicycle. I shed tears of frustration (felt like a fool) and tears from the discomfort. Ugh...talk about mental defeat. My physical therapist and his assistant were both wonderful, and encouraging.

Long story short, the increased pain and discomfort could be due to the heat increasing the inflammation or it could be there was more damage on the interior of the knee and as it heals, new injuries surface. The good news, this past Sunday I walked 3.25 miles. It was NOT my best walk but I did it with little discomfort. I planned to celebrate my slow walk, instead of 14-17 minute miles like I was doing prior to my injury, it was slow going: Mile 1 - 36 minutes, Mile 2 - 40 minutes, and Mile 3 - 46 minutes.

I share this because we need to find the good in whatever situation we face. Rather than focus on the turtle pace I'm focusing on the ability to walk the distance. Instead of focusing on the back-step with pain and swelling, I celebrate the bruising is better and I'm moving and doing more. We will face many challenges in life, from mental exhaustion to physical malfunctions BUT if we keep a positive, hope-filled, and encouraging attitude...success is closer than we know. We can't dwell in the negative, we MUST take the first step and move forward. What is the First step You Need to Take Today?