For Writers. And Readers. And Dreamers. And Thinkers.

I published my first indie novel on September 11, 2011.  A significant date to the American people, and when I'm asked if that was intentional, I must say no. The reality of indie publishing is that you submit your content and wait for approval from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc.

Based on many e-mails and queries I've gotten, I thought I'd share my thoughts with the interwebs regarding this "indie-publishing craze"  and my personal experience. 

My entire life I've been an achiever - at work and at school - in fact, some might say an over-achiever of zealot-like proportions.  But, I've also been a reader, and a dreamer, and a thinker and a writer, in that order.  I've been writing novellas in my head for years, letting the plots unfold in my mind as I drive along (my poor driving skills may be attributed to this).  Becoming an author seemed as unattainable to me as going to the moon (in fact becoming an astronaut seemed a far more feasible goal, more on that to come).  

So I forged along upon the crutches of math and science, areas that I excelled in and had a remarkable proclivity for and to which the path forward seemed abundantly clear.  I could become a doctor or a financial trader or an aerospace engineer, make a lot of money, the end. Then in college, I made a startling decision - I changed my major from international economics to history.  History! What would one do with a history major you say?  Well, I learned a heck of a lot about the world we're in, the political, economic and social changes that occured for us to get here, and I also got to write.  A lot.  History majors may write as much or more than an English major.   To everyone else around me, this appeared to be an epicly absurd move.   

The decision to change that major was one of the first of many that led to my eventual authorship.  I took a chance, went with my gut and was better for it.  Instead of over-developing skills I already had (financial analysis and the like) I expanded my skill set to include big picture thinking, story arcs and qualitative analysis.  And at the feet of the accomplished professors of the history department, I honed my writing skills.  I figured, if I ended up in financial services, I might just be a leg up since I developed other areas of my repertoire (my prediction held true, I have a wonderful day job that pays the bills where I work with entrepreneurs to help them build businesses).

Deciding to self-publish was another one of those fork in the road decisions.  Do I go to New York, seek the big six approval, or do I publish on my own?  The stigma of self-publishing still exists. It has to, you see, because it is the bedrock of the idea that before a book is "worthy" an agent and a publisher must deem it as such.  

But, I wasn't interested in the fame or the money.  I was interested in letting my creative juices flow.  The twenty-seven months or so it took me to write the book were some of the most exciting and fulfilling times of my life.  

I had a blank computer screen on which I could write anything I wanted.  Heady stuff.  I purposefully avoided literature regarding the process of writing or what one should write.  This was a free pass to do whatever I wanted.  Every day of school and work is about fulfilling someone else's mission - this was a chance to do something the way I wanted it done.   Writing a book exactly as I wanted it to read and every step of the process was for self-fulfillment.  If I only felt like writing a sentence that day, that's what I did.  I was euphoric, drunk on power.  I was my own boss.  I didn't like that scene, so I deleted it, control X and it was gone. Morganna and Callupo began to fill my mind just like regular people do and I became invested in them as characters.  If nothing else, I got to know myself better than I had in any of the years preceding.

Not only was I fulfilled by this creative process, I became a better thinker and writer, as well.  Following a web of plotlines from start to finish in a novel is a mental exercise in agility.  Had I gone with a traditional publisher, I'd have been beholden to their deadlines, their input on the novel and maybe had to sacrifice a little of what I wanted to see in the book.  I'm glad that I did not.  I had one person who was my editor/sister/idea lady work with me on the book, and I chose her because I respected her judgement and trusted her enough to give me the creative space I needed.

On the day of publishing, I was overwrought with emotions.  Will people think this book is terrible? If this is a success or failure the only person this points to is me! I hope someone other than my mother and sisters reads this book!

Now that it's been published and read many times over, it's much easier for me to say that none of that stream of consciousness matters, that if I was the only person who liked the book then that's all that matters.  I would be lying if I didn't say it feels terrific that many people have read it and reviewed it on Amazon, Goodreads, and the like, and the response has been overwhelmingly favorable.  Had it received a unanimous backlash I'd likely retire.  

One question that has perturbed me is, "How much money have you made?"  When asked this question, my first thought is, on what planet is it appropriate to ask people about how much money they make?  Then, I remember, it's just curioisity about the process.  I do this for the love it and if it ever grows to become a full-time gig I'd be ecstatic.  That hasn't happened, yet.  My sister asked me how I would define a "success" for this book.  I said, I'd be content if 100 non-family members read this book.  This has happened, so we'll count it a success.  For book two, I will likely up the ante.  

So I advise, unsolicited to some and solicited to others, that you make a decision about what's best for you.  Either way you go, becoming an author of import and fame is very difficult, and it's a business not for the faint of heart.  But if it's a creative experience you're wanting to undertake - get started today.  One word turns into one sentence which becomes part of a paragraph and then a page - you know the rest.  

 

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