How to Know to Put That Book Away!
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How to Know to Put That Book Away! ~ March 31, 2020
Not finishing a book is one of the hardest decisions for me! This is for a variety of reasons (naturally, because why would there just be one?!). I am ‘type A’ and I’m coming to terms with the fact that I have high expectations for myself; expectations that come from inside and a lot of times, expectations that are a bit extreme. One of these is putting a lot of pressure on myself to finish what I start. If I pick up a book, I am committed, and since I’m committed, I MUST finish. Just typing this feels a bit silly, but it’s very real and I have to fight this inclination. Sometimes, a book is a recommendation and I don’t want to disappoint the recommender. Often, the books that I start are ones I’m genuinely excited to read and it’s very disappointing to realize that I’m not enjoying them for whatever reason. In a small way, it’s grieving. Realizing a book is not what you wanted it to be can be a real let-down. As a result, it’s tempting to push through. Maybe it’ll get better, maybe you need more time to settle into it, maybe you can ignore how you’re feeling? Honestly, sometimes those things are valid and books do get better, or you read more and adapt to the story-telling, or you ignore the feeling and get lost in the book. However, I’m learning that those things are rare and more often than not those feelings are guiding me to put that book away!
So how do you do it?! Here’s what I’ve learned and hopefully if you’re like me (and you struggle with deciding not to finish a book) it’ll be helpful. For a few years now, the first thing I’ve done is give myself permission to stop reading. Because I put expectations on myself, I have to be the one to adjust them. I decided that it was a bit much to read something I didn’t like when there were so many other books to read, so I gave myself the permission I needed to change. It is hard, but necessary, and by far the most helpful thing I’ve done to adjust my mindset! I also evaluate the books I read as I read them. Is the book engaging me? Do I find myself yearning to know the characters more or find out what happens next? If that’s missing, maybe skip it! Perhaps there’s something off-putting about the plot, characters, or style. I’ve read books where a character is disingenuous, misogynistic or narcissistic. When this happens, I can’t relate to him/her or it makes the story hard to buy. If a plot is so off balance and I can’t swallow it, how am I supposed to be an engaged, excited reader? Again, sometimes you can move past this, but not always. Finally, if a book is triggering, I will stop immediately. When I’m triggered, I become irritable, anxious, depressed and feel ‘off.’ It’s not work sacrificing my mental well-being just to finish a book!
For me, this is something I’ve always had a hard time doing and have to continue to really work at. If I’m not feeling the book for whatever reason, I’ll sit down and think through all of the above and then make my decision. The best part is afterwards – when I decide to stop reading, I feel light, optimistic and excited to start my next read!
You might be wondering about the photo I chose! This was a few weeks ago when I was reading in bed before falling asleep. My cat, Penny, is always competing with books for attention and this was her saying, “excuse me, but I need you to focus on me now!” I gave her some scratches (how could I not), but her face is priceless! When I look at that picture now now, it’s as if Penny’s saying, “Put The Book Away!”
Summing it up: give yourself permission to stop reading a book that’s not working for you (yes, I’m saying this to myself too) and work on finding the balance of reading what you love and enjoy, sans the pressure! Anyone else have good tips for quitting a book? I’d love to hear them in the comments!
Best, Abbey
