(9/11) “There was a piece missing. All these years I loved my...

(9/11)  “There was a piece missing.  All these years I loved my husband.  And he loved me, but something was missing.   First, he never liked to be in photographs.  And he always thought people were watching him.  But I just thought it was vanity.  I kept saying: ‘C’mon, Bobby.  You aren’t that exclusive.’  But then there was the deeper stuff.  We had some beautiful love making.  But other than that, there wasn’t much affection.  Not many hugs.  Not much cuddling.  Not much communication.  I could only get so close and he’d shut down.  Sometimes, when we were arguing, I’d be pouring myself out to him.  And he’d just sit there with a scowl on his face.  I thought it was me.  I kept thinking: ‘Maybe he doesn’t want to be here.’  But Bobby was a provider.  He was always working two or three jobs.  He’d cook, and do laundry, and spend time with the kids.  I thought to myself: ‘Everyone is different.  People have different upbringings.  This might be how Bobby shows love.’  But it was hard.  It wore me down.  I cried so many tears about it.  I remember during Christmas of 2014, I was on my knees in church, saying:  ‘Lord, please, I can’t do this anymore.’  I begged God to change my husband’s heart.  I’d reached the end of my rope.  That was a few weeks before everything went down.“