Thoughts while traveling to Lincoln

I had a very disastrous journey from London to Lincoln, but now you can enjoy my confused random thoughts and perhaps have a laugh or two (because that's what audiences are for: to laugh at you when you're miserable. I'm joking. I'm not miserable. Just exhausted).
"People are wearing shorts?!?" said out loud and then instantly regretted.
I wish I could speak like an englishgirl. But my 'american' accent gives me away as a foreigner, and that makes people explain everything a bit slower. And I'm...