When Book Pirates Make You Laugh...

There is NOTHING funny about book piracy... and by that I mean the sites that steal your book and offer it up for free download. The reality is that most of them are only phishers looking for the unsuspecting reader (and what sort of reader goes to pirate sites!) to upload credit card or other details. Since I signed up to Blasty.com, I have recorded over 3000 pirate sites with my books on them. I gave up trying to chop the head of this particular hydra after one site offered a REPORT COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT button which I duly clicked and ended up infecting my computer with malware. No, they are not nice at all.
BUT just occasionally you come across something that makes you laugh out loud... and just the other day I stumbled on a pirate site offering up GATHER THE BONES for free download (and no, I am not sharing the link... it went straight to BLASTY).
In uploading the book, the pirate had evidently copied from another pirate site that had uploaded the book description (the blurb) in a foreign language. Our enterprising pirate had then run the foreign language blurb through Google translate and the resultant hot mess is laugh out loud funny... so here for your enjoyment is the blurb for GATHER THE BONES... pirate style... 
ENJOY AND SHARE... 
And if you would like to purchase a legal copy of GATHER THE BONES... Click the button below...  Button Text ORIGINAL BOOK DESCRIPTION PIRATE BLURB England 1923 and the Great War still casts a dark shadow over the lives of ordinary people.
Grieving widow, Helen Morrow and her husband’s cousin, the wounded and reclusive Paul, are haunted not only by the horrors of the trenches but ghosts from another time and another conflict. 
The desperate voice of a young woman reaches out to them from the pages of a coded diary and Paul and Helen are bound together in their search for answers, not only to the old mystery but also the circumstances surrounding the death of Helen’s husband at Passchandaele in 1917. 
As the two stories become entwined, Paul and Helen will not find peace or happiness until the mysteries are solved. ​England 1923 and the Great War still casts a aphotic adumbration over the lives of accustomed people.  Grieving widow, Helen Morrow and her husband’s cousin, the blood-soaked and antisocial Paul, are apparitional not alone by the horrors of the trenches but ghosts from addition time and addition conflict.  The atrocious articulation of a adolescent woman alcove out to them from the pages of a coded account and Paul and Helen are apprenticed calm in their chase for answers, not alone to the old abstruseness but additionally the affairs surrounding the afterlife of Helen’s bedmate at Passchandaele in 1917.  As the two belief become entwined, Paul and Helen will not acquisition accord or beatitude until the mysteries are solved.