The Session - Some Halloween Fun
The Session - by Doug Lewars - Copyright 2018
“Come in and have a seat.”
“Uh, should I …” He looked at the couch.
“It’s really what you’re most comfortable with. Some patients believe that lying on a couch is a requirement for seeing a psychiatrist while others prefer the chair.”
He looked nervous as he selected the chair.
“Now, Mr. Lupern, what can I do for you?”
“Uh, well, I’m a werewolf.”
“I see.”
“You don’t believe me.
”
“Mr. Lupern, my experience in dealing with patients is to believe everything they tell me. Some of it may not be factually accurate. Some may even be delusional. However, if I start off by believing everything, it creates a common understanding. Then if my patients choose to modify some details over time, I’ll believe the revisions. So if you say you are a werewolf, then you are a werewolf as far as I’m concerned.”
“Uh, okay doc, but that isn’t my actual problem.”
“Very well, let’s see if we can be specific about the problem.”
“I can’t transform.”
“Aw, well that might prove awkward – not even under a full moon?”
He shook his head. “Well, a full moon helps of course, but I should be able to transform anytime. But the thing is, I can sort of transform. I mean I can’t adopt the form of a wolf but I do change. And that’s a problem; because when I go one way, if I don’t have a really full moon, then I can’t get back.”
“Let’s see if I understand correctly. You can only transform under a full moon when you should be able to transform any time, and when you do transform, you don’t take on the characteristics of a wolf. Is that correct?”
“Yes that’s it exactly!”
“I see. So when was the last time you transformed?”
“A week ago Wednesday.”
I glanced at my calendar. “That would have been a full moon. So what did you transform into?”
“Me. I transformed back. You see I’d waited too long and I’d been stuck for a month.”
“As a wolf?”
He looked downcast. “As a hamster.”
“Oh, that would be awkward.”
“You’re telling me. Have you any idea how many cats live in my neighborhood?”
“I can see that might prove … difficult.”
“I almost died! I think there should be a law that people keep those monsters indoors.”
“I see.
”
He continued. “Anyway, I’m not always a hamster. I’ve been a rabbit, a skunk, a raccoon and a coyote – came pretty close with that last one but still not a wolf.”
“Perhaps you’re more of a generic shapeshifter.”
“No I’m a werewolf but I may not be one much longer. I’ve pretty much become the laughingstock of the pack. They’ll probably kick me out any day now.”
“How many members are there in the pack?”
“Counting me – seven.”
“And none of the others have problems transforming?”
He looked away for a moment and seemed to be considering. “I don’t think so. It’s hard to tell. We don’t transform together. We do it in private.”
“So you haven’t actually seen the others transform?”
“No, but I have seen a pack running through the park.”
“And there are six of them?”
Once more he considered. “It was hard to see. Even with the full moon, it’s pretty dark near the trees.”
“Does it make a difference for you if the night is cloudy even though the moon is full?”
“Oh yeah – big time. I need a clear sky and a full moon. Even if there’s just a wisp of a cloud I’m stuck.”
“How long have you been a werewolf?”
“I was born that way. You hear stories about becoming one after you’re bitten but it doesn’t work like that. Either you’re born a werewolf or you’re not.”
“It must have been a bit awkward for you as a child with the transformations and all.”
“Oh, I only started transforming about a year ago.”
“And before that?”
“Nothing.”
I made a note. “And your parents - were they both werewolves?”
Once again he had to stop and think. “I’m not sure if either were. I mean I never saw them transform. They may have done it when I wasn’t around but I didn’t see it.”
“And they didn’t discuss it with you?”
“No.”
“Very well. By the way, have you ever transformed in front of someone? Say someone walking through the park just at the time you were changing.”
“No that’s never happened.”
“Okay, well I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for this session but I’ll see you in a week and maybe we can dig a little deeper.”
“Thanks Doc, I’m starting to feel good about coming to you.”
“Well I’m glad to hear that.”
I have two doors in my office so that departing patients don’t have to meet those who are arriving. I find it makes everyone feel more comfortable that way.
I called to my receptionist, “I’m ready for Miss Wickens now.”
The door opened and she entered.
“Now Miss Wickens,” I said, “Last week you told me you were a witch and your problem was that your spells tended to backfire. Is that still the case?”
“Ribbit.”
“I see.”
“Come in and have a seat.”
“Uh, should I …” He looked at the couch.
“It’s really what you’re most comfortable with. Some patients believe that lying on a couch is a requirement for seeing a psychiatrist while others prefer the chair.”
He looked nervous as he selected the chair.
“Now, Mr. Lupern, what can I do for you?”
“Uh, well, I’m a werewolf.”
“I see.”
“You don’t believe me.
”
“Mr. Lupern, my experience in dealing with patients is to believe everything they tell me. Some of it may not be factually accurate. Some may even be delusional. However, if I start off by believing everything, it creates a common understanding. Then if my patients choose to modify some details over time, I’ll believe the revisions. So if you say you are a werewolf, then you are a werewolf as far as I’m concerned.”
“Uh, okay doc, but that isn’t my actual problem.”
“Very well, let’s see if we can be specific about the problem.”
“I can’t transform.”
“Aw, well that might prove awkward – not even under a full moon?”
He shook his head. “Well, a full moon helps of course, but I should be able to transform anytime. But the thing is, I can sort of transform. I mean I can’t adopt the form of a wolf but I do change. And that’s a problem; because when I go one way, if I don’t have a really full moon, then I can’t get back.”
“Let’s see if I understand correctly. You can only transform under a full moon when you should be able to transform any time, and when you do transform, you don’t take on the characteristics of a wolf. Is that correct?”
“Yes that’s it exactly!”
“I see. So when was the last time you transformed?”
“A week ago Wednesday.”
I glanced at my calendar. “That would have been a full moon. So what did you transform into?”
“Me. I transformed back. You see I’d waited too long and I’d been stuck for a month.”
“As a wolf?”
He looked downcast. “As a hamster.”
“Oh, that would be awkward.”
“You’re telling me. Have you any idea how many cats live in my neighborhood?”
“I can see that might prove … difficult.”
“I almost died! I think there should be a law that people keep those monsters indoors.”
“I see.
”
He continued. “Anyway, I’m not always a hamster. I’ve been a rabbit, a skunk, a raccoon and a coyote – came pretty close with that last one but still not a wolf.”
“Perhaps you’re more of a generic shapeshifter.”
“No I’m a werewolf but I may not be one much longer. I’ve pretty much become the laughingstock of the pack. They’ll probably kick me out any day now.”
“How many members are there in the pack?”
“Counting me – seven.”
“And none of the others have problems transforming?”
He looked away for a moment and seemed to be considering. “I don’t think so. It’s hard to tell. We don’t transform together. We do it in private.”
“So you haven’t actually seen the others transform?”
“No, but I have seen a pack running through the park.”
“And there are six of them?”
Once more he considered. “It was hard to see. Even with the full moon, it’s pretty dark near the trees.”
“Does it make a difference for you if the night is cloudy even though the moon is full?”
“Oh yeah – big time. I need a clear sky and a full moon. Even if there’s just a wisp of a cloud I’m stuck.”
“How long have you been a werewolf?”
“I was born that way. You hear stories about becoming one after you’re bitten but it doesn’t work like that. Either you’re born a werewolf or you’re not.”
“It must have been a bit awkward for you as a child with the transformations and all.”
“Oh, I only started transforming about a year ago.”
“And before that?”
“Nothing.”
I made a note. “And your parents - were they both werewolves?”
Once again he had to stop and think. “I’m not sure if either were. I mean I never saw them transform. They may have done it when I wasn’t around but I didn’t see it.”
“And they didn’t discuss it with you?”
“No.”
“Very well. By the way, have you ever transformed in front of someone? Say someone walking through the park just at the time you were changing.”
“No that’s never happened.”
“Okay, well I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for this session but I’ll see you in a week and maybe we can dig a little deeper.”
“Thanks Doc, I’m starting to feel good about coming to you.”
“Well I’m glad to hear that.”
I have two doors in my office so that departing patients don’t have to meet those who are arriving. I find it makes everyone feel more comfortable that way.
I called to my receptionist, “I’m ready for Miss Wickens now.”
The door opened and she entered.
“Now Miss Wickens,” I said, “Last week you told me you were a witch and your problem was that your spells tended to backfire. Is that still the case?”
“Ribbit.”
“I see.”
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