When You are Refined by Change
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Tears began to form as I hung up the phone. My husband had called to let me know he would be working late again. I love my children, but I needed a break, they needed their dad and I desperately needed him home. I was 25 when I began praying a seemingly innocent prayer earnestly seeking God with a few simple requests: a new church, a new house and a new job for my husband. Even as I prayed, I was creating my own plan of how it should look. This prayer forever changed the trajectory of my life.
Have you ever prayed a prayer that brought significant change to your life?
Before we go any further I have a confession: I hate change! It’s a nasty five letter word that I dislike, or at least I used to. You see, I used to be a control freak. I was the type of person who had plans for the backup plans. If something was going to happen or go wrong with the original plan, I had another plan. I needed to be able to control the situation and change just didn’t fit in my vocabulary and if it did, it was never in a good way.
I’ve heard it said that frustration is a catalyst for change and I’ve learned it’s true. Frustration was the driving force behind my prayers back then. I wanted change, truly I did, but I wanted it my way, in my time and fitting into my plan. That is until God in His sovereignty decided it was time I needed refining and change was the vehicle He was going to use to bring it about.
Have you ever wanted something to change in your life, but then when it did, it wasn’t at all how you had pictured it?
Yes, God answered all three of my prayers at once, however, it wasn’t exactly in the way I had planned. His plan involved change in every area of my life. His plan involved moving us out of state from all our family, friends and everything I had ever known. What was God thinking? In spite of getting my prayers answered I was seriously angry at God. His plan left me feeling under pressure, discomfort and out of control. His plan required me trusting and becoming dependent upon Him. His plan seemed too difficult and I wanted to run.
John Maxwell says, “Change is inevitable, growth is optional.” It took two years for me to fully surrendered to the change and refining process God was inviting me to. I now know that change is the process God uses to refine us.
O Lord, we have passed through your fire;
like precious metal made pure,
you’ve proved us, perfected us, and made us holy. (Psalm 66:10 TPT)
God invites us to go through the refiner’s fire, not for His sake, but for ours. When something is refined it is to make it better by removing the flaws and imperfections. God’s refiners fire will pull out the impurities in our lives. His refining fire may seem difficult and painful, but it’s really meant to soften the hard places in our lives, so we become more like Him. It’s through the refiner’s fire that God’s power and sovereignty is displayed. He brings our imperfections and weaknesses to the surface and we become stronger once they are dealt with, healed and removed.
For me, the last twenty-five years and counting has been filled with seasons of constant change and refining. Not all bad, but all necessary!
A little over five years ago, my husband and I said “yes” to pastoring a local church. The minute we said “yes” was the minute “change” in every area of our life began again. If I began to list everything out for you, it would easily fill up several pages, but that isn’t the point.
As I look back at the last twenty-five years, and even the last five, I am not the same person I was then. His refining fire has changed me, shaped me and molded me into a vessel that can display His glory to others.
I will continue to submit to the refining process God wants me to walk through, because I know I will come out the others side with less flaws and imperfections and I will be made more holy.
The refiner’s fire and process of change in my life hasn’t always been pleasant, but it has been pivotal to my success moving forward and being obedient to the call of God on my life.
Is God inviting you to be refined by change?
If so, don’t resist, but submit. Submit to the refining process and allow Him to make you more pure and holy.
Change is not always pleasant, but it’s pivotal to our success.
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Debbie Kitterman is a natural born encourager who is on fire for God. She is passionate about equipping individuals to go deeper in their relationship with God, reach their God-potential and claim their Kingdom inheritance. Debbie is an author, pastor, speaker and the founder of “Dare2Hear,” ministry and d2htraining.com. Her writing and teachings inspire faith and build bridges for people to expect the impossible. Her book, The Gift of Prophetic Encouragement: Hearing the Words of God for Others, released August 21, 2018 with Chosen Books. Follow Debbie Kitterman here:Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Instagram :: Pinterest :: FB Ministry Page :: LinkedIn :: Google+:: YouTube
The Refined Series
Fire refines. First God, breaks our pride into tiny pieces. Then, He melts away our impurities in a crucible of affliction. Every fleck of fleshy fluff rises to the surface and is removed until we reveal His image.
This year, I want to stop fearing the fire and pray:
Lord, refine me through the flame.
For 2018, I asked God to give me a word to guide my year, and He whispered the word “Refine.” For 10 months, Bruce and I have been walking through the fire and trying to not resist the refining work He is doing in us.
I am a very slow learner, and recently it occurred to me I should step aside and create more space to listen and learn during this season. I long to sit down for a heart-to-heart chat with a wise friend who will remind me the fire has a grander purpose. Thankfully, I am blessed to know several women who’ve walked through the fire and emerged beautifully refined, and I’ve invited them to share their story here with the Wildfire Faith Community once a month.
God has promised that the fire will not consume us, but transform us.
Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and grab a copy of the Refined Manifesto our Faith Fuel Library.
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