“I wasn’t planning on dressing up as a clown. I’d been...

“I wasn’t planning on dressing up as a clown.  I’d been drinking all night in Poughkeepsie and I somehow ended up at the train station, so I decided to take the 4 AM train into the city.  I had $200 in my pocket from some gutter cleaning work.  I immediately spent the first $60 on brunch and Bloody Marys.  Then I walked by Party City and I had the idea to get a clown wig.  But then I noticed the suspenders, and the top, and the bow tie, and some balloons.  I bought a red nose too but I’m not sure what happened to it.  I left the store with about $100, which was enough to get some shoes and a half pint of Seagram’s.  I ended the day with $10, but that got lost when I passed out in Times Square.  Now I’m trying to figure out how to get home.  I need to stop drinking.”