1 Simple Way to Make a Significant Difference in Your Marriage
At 41, I honestly did not think I would ever get married. Nearly a decade had passed since my last date. I chose to not worry about it though. If God wanted me to be a wife, then certainly he would send me a husband.
In early 2008, I partnered with two other singles at my church to start a small group. Our focus was to serve – each month we would put feet to our faith in our community. Our group leader gave me a ride to our first event – we would help organize the monthly clothing drive at our church’s homeless ministry The Refuge. On the way there, we chatted easily and laughed frequently. Was there a spark? “Lord, are you doing something here?” I thought.
At The Refuge, I ran into an old friend, Elizabeth. We had traveled together to Cuzco, Peru in 2004 as part of a team that distributed Evangelical literature in rural schools. At the time, we had both been single gals, but Elizabeth now wore a beautiful ring on her left hand.
“How is married life?” I asked Elizabeth. “So much has changed in your life.” Elizabeth smiled, and then she said the words that God wanted to engrave on my heart.
“Marriage is about serving my husband.” This was how Elizabeth’s spontaneous mini-sermon began. She expounded on all that she had learned as a newlywed, and I took it all in.
A few minutes later, the weekly service for the homeless began. We sat on folding chairs under a white tent in a parking lot. After some worship music, Pastor Jym invited us all to open our Bibles to Ephesians 5. He’d been preaching through the book, and his topic today was marriage. I am quite sure that my mouth must have fallen open. The Holy Spirit had my full attention.
Two days later, that nice group leader invited me to join him on what he called “an outing.” (Code word: Date) We exchanged vows a year later.
From the beginning, God’s message to me was clear. Marriage is not about me. Marriage is another way that I am called to bring glory to God, and my marching orders came on the pavement right there at the refuge: “Marriage is about serving my husband.”
Practical ways to serve and make a significant difference in your marriage
Pray for your man daily
Extend grace to your husband, rather than judgment (or nagging)
Support your spouse’s efforts to support your family in whatever way he asks you to help out
Love your hubby’s extended family and make them feel welcome in your home
Encourage your partner through purposeful verbal affirmation
Respect your love’s role as the God-appointed leader of your family
You may notice I started my bullet point list with prayer. One of the most important ways we serve our spouse is through daily getting on our knees to intercede on their behalf. Imagine what God might do in our marriage if you started your day for the next 7 mornings asking asking the Master Builder to help you build your home on a solid foundation of Truth.
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As we pray, God will build our homes strong and help us to stand securely on bedrock Truth. His Word will undergird our lives and shelter us in the midst of any storm.
As we purpose to serve our husbands, the Holy Spirit knits out hearts together and creates a sweet spirit of peace and harmony in our homes. Your marriage doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s — you can choose to rise above what the world says and walk differently. The secret sauce to a sacred union is finding ways to outdo one another in honor and humbly supporting your man through thick and thin.
I am so thankful that God placed Elizabeth in my path that day. Looking back now, I see how God wanted me to understand from day one that marriage was not about me. Jesus came to serve, and as His ambassador in my home, I am called to do the same.
Maybe you think this is easier said than done, but I want to encourage you to step out in obedience and serve your spouse as if you were serving God. You will soon see how your Heavenly Father begins to transform your heart and your home.
Make a significant difference in your marriage by serving your spouse.
Make a significant difference in your marriage by serving your spouse.
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Here’s the best piece of marriage advice I received as a young wife:
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