My broom, my hat and a smile

As a busy mom, sometimes I wonder how the day goes by and I am still smiling. Okay, I don't want to sound like Mrs. Prissy Perky or anything, as my husband will attest-I am not always smiling. Somedays between the hustle and bustle of laundry (missing socks-I curse them!), food to prepare, three daughters, a husband, a full time course load in college (I curse this too,sometimes), the unorganized papers with my to-do lists, dirty dishes, toys to pick up, new story ideas to either work on or file, parties to plan,hugs to give, boo-boos to kiss, tears to wipe (and sometimes booties,lol), barbies to dress, books to read, checkbooks to balance, breathing (which I forget sometimes), and all of the in-betweens-I wonder how this can all occur in one day-24 hours that go by in a flash. Just writing the list makes me yawn. Not from boredom, mind you but from pure exhaustion. How do we mothers keep up? Fathers too-I am not excluding you, but from my own personal perspective as a mother, I truly forget to breathe sometimes. Thank goodness we do not need reminded to do that, or I'd be dead. Six feet under. I occasionally go to Starbucks in that fifteen minutes of free time I get once a year and sip my outrageously priced frappucino and look around. I see other mothers, like myself, writing-typing-sometimes smiling. I look curiously among thier stacks of books or magazines and wonder how long thier to do lists are for today. I was cleaning yesterday, feeling a little under the weather, doing homework, juggling children and thier schedules, when it hit me. I need a broom. I was in a rotten mood and because of the time of year, with my Halloween decor up I noticed a witch. She was smiling. Curse that witch who mocks me with her broom-her mode of escape. And it hit me that I need a broom. Not a broom for cleaning-oh, no I know that broom all too well thanks to my children's daily escapades among our floors and our two hairy dogs. I need a broom of escape-metaphorically of course. I would never want to leave my life permanently. Just for some brief moments of me time. We forget how important it is to care for ourselves among the bump and grind of keeping up. Our to-do lists keep getting longer and longer and the only way we will keep up is to give ourselves permission to kick back. My husband works very hard every day at his job-never complains about it, just does it to provide for us. When he gets home, he gives himself permission to prop his feet up and watch his favorite show, have a drink-whatever it takes to unwind. Me-I keep going like my batteries will die if I don't. Oh no, I say: there are baths to give, mouths to feed, hairs to pluck (curse them too), clothes in the dryer that need putting away, get-togethers to plan,etc. No time for me to sit and do that...what is the word? Relax. Well no more. Okay, maybe it won't happen overnight, my imaginary broom. But I am going to take baby steps to realize it's okay to slow down. Otherwise, how will I truly be happy? I am afraid somewhere along the path of finding success that I will lose my smile, and I don't want that. I want to revel in my children's laughter, and pay attention when my youngest wants to show me what she learned in Ballet. I want to watch my favorite show, or read a book that is not assigned. I just want to learn to give myself permission to take my "broom" and escape for awhile, but know I've got my witch's hat just in case things get too out of hand to keep me in line. And I want to keep my smile. More than anything. Because on my grave when I go to the great beyond, I want it to say: "here RESTS Jodi Stone, a great mother and wife and friend and daughter and sister. She didn't always have a perfectly clean house, and the to-do list wasn't always completely checked off, but she lived life to the fullest with her friends and family and always had on her: a broom, a hat and a smile."