Of Flame Keepers and Writers

Ken : – In 1942 Annie’s grandson is in the North African desert. Near a place called El Alamein. He’s never been abroad before… (Exit put on Churchill hat.)

Em : – … unless you count a summer holiday to the seaside…at Broughty Ferry! Now in the North African Desert Boab’s future career plans don’t involve jute. ( Three WW2 soldiers kick ball.)

Boab : – What a goal! When the war’s ower I’m gonna be a professional – I’m no goin back to work in a mull an deh afore meh time like meh granny.

Tam : – Deh afore yir time? Yir in a war!

Boab : – Hope an faith! Besides jute’s on the wey oot.

(Kick the ball again. Enter Officer.)

Officer : – (Bellowing) Get that ball away and get fell in. On parade now!

Boab : What’s this aboot, Sir?

Officer : Yours not to reason why soldier!

( Churchill enters.)

Officer : – The men are ready for your inspection now Prime Minister (Churchill stops to speak to Dan )

Churchill : – Where are you from soldier?

Dan : – Dundee! (Churchill shudders and turns to Tam)

Churchill : – Where are you from soldier?

Tam: – Dundee!

(Dan walks round Tam so he is next in line.)

Churchill : – Where are you from soldier?

Dan : – (Cheeky.) Dundee.

(Tam walks round Dan.)

Churchill : – (Horrified) Where are you from soldier?

Tam – Dundee…..

Churchill : – (To Boab.) Where are you from soldier?

Boab : – Dundee. Got flung oot o’ the mulls– but you got flung oot o’ the toon!

(Exit horrified Churchill.)

Officer : – It’s the guardroom for you soldier! OOT. (Exit. Dragging.)

Em : – Bob, from a heckling tradition was sentenced to fourteen days in a military jail for insulting the Great War Lord and the leader of the Nation. Bob never became a professional footballer but…he had a story to tell his grandchildren. (End of scene. Song. ‘If Dundee Was Africa’)

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