
“He’s always wanted kids. So I thought: ‘We’ll roll the dice and see what happens.’ I honestly didn’t think I’d get pregnant. They say it’s harder when you’re older, but here we are. I’m not confident that I’m going to be a good mom. I think of maternal women as women who’ve always wanted kids. I’ve known those people and watched those people and I’ve always thought: ‘I’m not like you.’ I’m afraid I’ll resent the change. Everything stops for the kid—no matter what you’re doing. I see my friends struggling to have a simple conversation because their kid keeps interrupting, or touching things, or running around. That will be new. But I’m trying to focus on the good parts. I am excited to teach it things. And hopefully I’ll be changed for the better. But what if there’s not a bond? You need that connection to stave off the resentment. And if it’s not there, how do you fix that? I’ve got one friend who doesn’t feel it very much. She’s not patient with all the interruptions. She cuts her kids off and sends them away. She told me: ‘If I’d known what was coming, I’d never have done it.”
(Melbourne, Australia)
Published on April 22, 2018 17:57