“When you’re six you have like twenty-eight responsibilities. ...

“When you’re six you have like twenty-eight responsibilities. You have to help your mom. You have to help your dad. And you have to keep your room clean so your parents don’t come in and see your secrets. I have over one hundred secrets and only five have been discovered because they’re protected by lasers. I’ll tell you one but then I’ll have to throw it away. I’m a real ninja master because I got powers from glowing red rocks I found in the caverns of lost treasure. Someone hid them there in the 1980’s during World War 7. That’s all I can tell you now because I don’t want everybody to know how special I am.”

(Manila, Philippines)