Brett Arquette: Operation Hail Storm

Dear Mr. Arquette,

You contacted me over Goodreads, offering a free review copy of your novel Operation Hail Storm. I would have sent a thank you message, but your author's profile was gone the next day. I still requested a copy from your website. The copyrighted ebook I got has vanished off my e-reader. The download link is still live and I could probably request another copy, but I don't want one.

Here's a review of the book as far as I read it. I stopped the first day, after a handful of pages. Operation Hail Storm failed to hook me. I'm writing this blog entry because I believe you might want to know where you lost me. That's what I would want to know if I were an author.

The first scene was interesting. The eagle-shaped surveillance drone, the North Korean general with his shotgun, Hail's people trying to fly the burning bird to safety. Action, tension and a futuristic gadget, worthy of a James Bond opening scene. Then we follow the main character, Marshall Hail, out of the command central and through his ship. He has some small talk with his crew members and goes into his cabin. And that's where I left him. Your description of the ship's hidden weapons, all mentioned with their names and calibers, was a shopping list to me. I would have skipped that and read on.

What made me put the book down for good was the first chunk of characterization for Hail. All the tension was gone when you called him a flawless person. Who wants to read a story with a flawless main character? Me, yes. And a lot of other readers. But we want that flawless character for a reason: as a stand-in for ourselves. Such an escape character should not only be flawless, he should be hollow cardboard. A mere name. The less we know about him, the better. We want to take his place in the story, after all. He doesn't need any motivation or backstory, and the less development, the better. Like James Bond. What do we know about James Bond? Little hints gathered from dialogue over several books. Nothing that could get in the way of us identifying with him. Marshall Hail, on the other hand... You spend so much page space in his head. You throw the first chunk of backstory at me when he showers. I don't want to go in the shower with a character, thank you very much. Except if it's the opening scene of Carrie or the murder scene in Psycho.

If Hail gets so much backstory, it must be a character driven novel. Difficult to combine with a technothriller plotline, if theorically possible. But who wants to read a character driven novel about a flawless person? Not me.

Yours sincerely
Christina Widmann de Fran

PS: If a classroom version without sex scenes and without profanity still works as perfectly as you say, why does the original have any?

Operation Hail Storm is the first part of the Hail series by Brett Arquette.

Get your copy on Amazon.

You can visit the author on his page http://brett873.wixsite.com/brettarquette.