Alpine Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight
Jen and Aaron scooted into a booth in the drugstore after putting in an order at the counter for a chocolate malt for them to share. As they settle in across from each other, Aaron waited for Jen to be still.
“Okay, Jen,” he said. “What’s up?”
Jen continued to fidget with her hands and stayed silent as he watched her. She took a breath as a waitress brought over their malt poured into two separate glasses. Jen began to fidget with her straw as she sipped her malt. Aaron couldn’t take another second.
“Jen,” he said.
Jen looked at the man before her. How would she say what she wanted to say to him? What would it do to their relationship? She could see agitation creep up Aaron’s neck as he tried to be patient with her. She took another breath and began.
“Aaron,” she said looking at him. “How come we have never actually dated?
Aaron choked slightly on his malt. Once he recovered, he met her eyes.
“Why are you asking me this, Jen?”
“I’m just curious,” she said hoping she sounded truthful.
Aaron furrowed his brow at her.
“Liar.” He said.
Ugh, he knew her way too well.
“I’m not lying. Well, not completely anyway.” She said.
“Uh-huh.” He answered as he sipped. “So, why are you curious about us dating?”
Crap. He was always good at putting her on the spot.
“I’ve just been doing some thinking,” Jen began to play with her straw as she spoke. “I’ve been a fool for too long. I’m sure that’s what everyone thinks of me. I’m a poor pathetic fool still pining for a man who left me twenty years ago.”
“Uh-huh.” Aaron said.
“To tell you the truth, I don’t know why he still affects me the way he does. Maybe I haven’t given myself the full change to really get to know another man and try to find a new love. Maybe I have been screwing up my own ability to be happy.” Jen tried to explain to him.
“So, you think us dating would help you move on?” Aaron asked.
“No!” She said a little too quick. “What I mean is, everyone is always saying how we should be together. How we should be a couple because we kind of act like a couple already. So,…why not?” She finally blurted out.
She watched as Aaron sat back in the booth. He stayed silent for a good solid minute just looking at her. Jen squirmed under his stare.
“Aaron, please say something.”
Aaron leaned forward and took one of Jen’s hands that was becoming red from her gripping it.
“Jen,” he began, “I love you very much. Probably as close to a loving a soulmate as a man can get. But, I wish you had asked this question twenty years ago.”
“What?” Jen whispered not understanding.
“Twenty years ago, I would have jumped at the chance to date you because I wanted to then. I wanted to know what it was like to date you, to kiss you, to whisper I love you in an intimate setting. All those crazy kooky things that couples do.”
“And now?” Jen asked.
“Now, I won’t risk what I have with you. It sounds crazy to say that out loud because I always believed I would jump at the chance to date you. What we have now, though, isn’t worth throwing away if dating doesn’t work. Does that make sense?” he asked her.
“Kind of,” she tried to say. “Maybe.”
“What we have now is a mixture of a friendship and an intimate relationship. We both love each other and we know this, but we both know it won’t go beyond friends. We both have riding this relationship so close to the line for so long. I think we both know we can’t cross that line anymore. The opportunity to do so walk out with Thomas that night.”
“No, it didn’t,” Jen’s tone sharp.
“Yes, it did Jen,” Aaron said softly as he continued to hold her hand. “That night as you tried to drink away all the hurt he caused you, you needed someone there who could truly be a friend to you. Someone who loved you enough to know it would be a long time before you could love anyone the way you loved Thomas. I wish it hadn’t taken twenty years, but it did and here we are.”
Aaron let go of Jen’s hand and picked up the napkin on the table. He scooted out of the booth and slid in next to Jen on the other side. He took the napkin and began to wipe away the tears silently falling down Jen’s cheeks. As he wrapped an arm around her to bring her into his chest, he whispered in her ear, “I love you. I will always love you and I’m not willing to lose your love. I wish more than you know that it could be me, but it can’t. I’m proud of you for being willing and ready to move on. Let’s find you a guy that’s better than Thomas…and me.”
Aaron kissed her cheek lightly then as he lifted her face to look at her. In that moment, Jen realized everything Aaron said was true. She didn’t want to lose him either. She placed her hand on his as it rested on her cheek and smiled.
“I love you, too.” She said.
Aaron pulled her into a full hug then and held her. When he let go, he tried to lighten the mood.
“Let’s finish these before they melt.” He told her, “I have to get back to the bar before Sam has a fit.”
