A Controversial Strength- Torpedo Ink

Judgment Road hero Reaper has a dark and horrible past. He was taken by criminals who murdered his parents and both he and his brother Savage were put into a “school” that taught them to be assassins, and where they were brutally abused in every way imaginable.





Reaper was very young when he was brought to the Russian school. His brother was even younger. He was stripped of everything and given only pain and suffering. Cruelty was compounded by the pain of watching other children die. Though the book doesn’t go into any graphic detail regarding the children it does address a specific time in which Reaper is abused. This event causes PTSD and a trigger is created in him that he feels he can never overcome.

Along comes Anya. She’s running from something and he knows it. But, she’s beautiful, alluring and kind. She helps the homeless, befriends those alone in the world and doesn’t judge others. Reaper can’t keep away from her. He sees her night after night as she works behind the counter of a Torpedo Ink bar. Naturally, with her beauty and kind nature Reaper realizes he is attracted to her and does the most natural thing for Reaper to do- he asks Viktor to fire her. In Reaper’s mind he is doing her a favor, perhaps even saving her…from him.
There are two specific scenes in the book in which Reaper’s past meets Anya’s compassion and we realize beyond a doubt two things- First, they love each other. Second, she is every bit as strong as he is, but with Reaper his strength is his physical strength and with her it’s her compassion and understanding.



I won’t be able to be specific about the scenes because that would be a spoiler. But, I have no doubt that these scenes will be controversial. Reaper does two very different things that require Anya to understand he has PTSD, understand he hasn’t been brought up with normal society, understand he would never hurt her and have compassion for a man scarred in so many ways she can’t possibly see them all until situations come up to reveal them one layer at a time.

One of the things I found very disconcerting as I researched abuse is the way male victims of sexual abuse were treated compared to females. Let me say that NO sexual abuse is worse or easier than another. It is ALL horrible and should be treated as such and victims should all, equally, be shown compassion, empathy, understanding and support. During my research though I found that male victims of sexual abuse were often encouraged not to speak of it. There was little sympathy and a lot of “get over it” by society. This is very upsetting to me. I knew I wanted to address this issue and highlight the struggles of abused men.

I realize it may seem that Anya forgives Reaper too easily. Given the circumstances of what happens in the scene and the fact that Reaper is clearly in a PTSD episode, no woman loving a man would then blame him for his reaction any more than they should blame a woman who had been raped for her reactions. I feel that Anya is smart and compassionate and it shows in the way she reacts to or about him. A woman doesn’t have to kick ass to be strong. As a matter of fact, neither does a man. There are other characteristics that make someone strong. Courage isn’t about winning in a fight. It’s about being terrified, but still moving forward toward what scares you because it’s the right thing to do.

Anya is a very strong heroine. Given who Reaper is, she’d have to be. He couldn’t have a woman who wasn’t strong. I have faith in my heroine and stand by her choice to fight against her fears and to stand up for a man who is trying to overcome his horrific past, but is struggling. Sometimes the greatest courage is compassion.