My publishing journey and fear by Felice Stevens
It's two weeks until I publish Perfect and that means the questions start. Will people read it? Will they like it? Have I done everything possible to showcase these characters whom I've spent countless hours with to make people want to read their story? Will they love them like I do?
That doesn't even encompass the uncertainty now of publishing—will Amazon hold up the publishing process for some bizarre reason even they don't understand, will it be pirated (the answer is yes) should I do KU or go wide...
That fear is the same from when my first book was published to this, my 24th book. Twenty-four books? That's crazy to me, since I almost gave up.
I'd always wanted to be a writer. I wrote poems in elementary school and short stories throughout high school. My high school English teacher was the Pulitzer-prize winning Frank McCourt and when he told me never to stop writing (and I have that in my high school year book) I tucked it away and would look at it every once in a while for inspiration.
But school and life got in the way and it wasn't until 2013 that I listed to Mr. McCourt. I was laid up from surgery and home from work for a month and reading non-stop. I finally took that plunge. I had always read romance and some of my friends urged me to try. I started writing. I was accepted to a romance critique group with some of the biggest names in historical romance, joined RWA and took classes on craft: synopsis writing, deep POV, story arc, etc and threw out everything I had already written. I had in mind a Regency Historical series of four friends—a Duke, a Marquess and two Earls. I studied the Regency period and I joined the Beau Monde Group. I ran a blog, interviewed all the biggest names in Regency romance and even became an Avon Addict—a super reader/reviewer and got to meet all my favorite authors.
And I kept writing until I was finished with my first book: The Passion of the Duke (I know, I need a new title). I sent it for editing and critique and rewrote and rewrote. Nervous, I joined Query Tracker, researched agents and sent out query letter after query letter. Many came back with "I'm sorry, historical romance isn't really selling." or "This isn't what we're looking for." It wasn't easy to be rejected over and over but I swallowed my pride and my fear and sent out more.
I also submitted the book to Pitch Wars on Twitter and to my shock I was chosen. My mentor and I went over the book and it was requested by several agents. Yay! I thought. It's going to happen. But one agent said she didn't think it would sell. Another agent said she was passing on this book but wanted to see what else I had. Both of them said they loved my voice.
Discouraged, I nevertheless continued with my writing and wrote two more Regency books. But by that time I'd discovered gay romance and fell in love with the genre With some regret I set aside my historicals and wrote my book, Rescued. I submitted that to several publishing houses specializing in gay romance and it was rejected. At that point I thought of giving up. I was tired of rejection. I was afraid I would never see my book published. At that time self-publishing was in its infancy and not something I thought about doing.
Finally, in March of 2014, I received an email from Loose Id that they wanted to publish Rescued. I will never forget that feeling.
Crazy as it was, Rescued was published and went to number one. For the next month or so remained there or at number two. No KU as it wasn't a factor then. By that point I was writing the Hell and Back series and thought to try and submit A Walk Through Fire to other publishers. I did and it was rejected. It was at that point, that the idea of self publishing began to look more appealing. After the last Hell and Back book was published I became fully self published. It didn't get any easier. The life of a self-publisher author is stressful and costly and the fear of rejection, this time by readers, remains.
With each book I release I feel the same fear as when I sent my manuscripts for querying. I don't think the fear has ever left me. Maybe other authors don't feel like this; maybe they are more confident than I. I'm sure it's true. It's not that I'm not confident in my work. When I publish a book it is the best I can give. I often say to my other author friends, "is it weird to fall in love with your characters?" Because to me, each character is real. I agonize over their stories; the plot, the romance, the secondary characters.
I'm always afraid I'm letting my characters down if the book doesn't sell. And while I'm beyond fortunate to have had some success, I don't ever take it for granted. The publishing industry has undergone seismic changes these past four years since I was published I don't think anyone really knows what will happen.
One thing I know is that this fear will never prevent me from writing my books. Will people hate my books? Absolutely. Will they get things wrong about my books in reviews that I want to correct but won't? You bet. Will they say awful things about me and my writing ability in reviews. Yes again. Been there done that. I'm not fearful of that. I have never let anyone's opinion prevent me from making my own decisions about books, movies, or restaurants.
But to those who are fearful about pushing publish and think it gets easier, it hasn't for me. But if you love writing, you can't let that stop you. You have to put your heart in someone else's hands and let the book soar. If you don't no one will ever have that chance to fall in love with your words and ideas. Because for every person who doesn't like your book, there will be someone who loves it. And for every review that tears your confidence down, there will be an email or a message from a reader who says "thank you for writing that book. I could relate. That was me. It made me cry." think of their fear.
So whether Amazon becomes more or less powerful, or Barnes and Noble stays afloat or succumbs, I know we as authors and readers will roll with it and figure it all out.
Is it scary? Sure. But I couldn't image doing anything else.
That doesn't even encompass the uncertainty now of publishing—will Amazon hold up the publishing process for some bizarre reason even they don't understand, will it be pirated (the answer is yes) should I do KU or go wide...
That fear is the same from when my first book was published to this, my 24th book. Twenty-four books? That's crazy to me, since I almost gave up.
I'd always wanted to be a writer. I wrote poems in elementary school and short stories throughout high school. My high school English teacher was the Pulitzer-prize winning Frank McCourt and when he told me never to stop writing (and I have that in my high school year book) I tucked it away and would look at it every once in a while for inspiration.
But school and life got in the way and it wasn't until 2013 that I listed to Mr. McCourt. I was laid up from surgery and home from work for a month and reading non-stop. I finally took that plunge. I had always read romance and some of my friends urged me to try. I started writing. I was accepted to a romance critique group with some of the biggest names in historical romance, joined RWA and took classes on craft: synopsis writing, deep POV, story arc, etc and threw out everything I had already written. I had in mind a Regency Historical series of four friends—a Duke, a Marquess and two Earls. I studied the Regency period and I joined the Beau Monde Group. I ran a blog, interviewed all the biggest names in Regency romance and even became an Avon Addict—a super reader/reviewer and got to meet all my favorite authors.
And I kept writing until I was finished with my first book: The Passion of the Duke (I know, I need a new title). I sent it for editing and critique and rewrote and rewrote. Nervous, I joined Query Tracker, researched agents and sent out query letter after query letter. Many came back with "I'm sorry, historical romance isn't really selling." or "This isn't what we're looking for." It wasn't easy to be rejected over and over but I swallowed my pride and my fear and sent out more.
I also submitted the book to Pitch Wars on Twitter and to my shock I was chosen. My mentor and I went over the book and it was requested by several agents. Yay! I thought. It's going to happen. But one agent said she didn't think it would sell. Another agent said she was passing on this book but wanted to see what else I had. Both of them said they loved my voice.
Discouraged, I nevertheless continued with my writing and wrote two more Regency books. But by that time I'd discovered gay romance and fell in love with the genre With some regret I set aside my historicals and wrote my book, Rescued. I submitted that to several publishing houses specializing in gay romance and it was rejected. At that point I thought of giving up. I was tired of rejection. I was afraid I would never see my book published. At that time self-publishing was in its infancy and not something I thought about doing.
Finally, in March of 2014, I received an email from Loose Id that they wanted to publish Rescued. I will never forget that feeling.
Crazy as it was, Rescued was published and went to number one. For the next month or so remained there or at number two. No KU as it wasn't a factor then. By that point I was writing the Hell and Back series and thought to try and submit A Walk Through Fire to other publishers. I did and it was rejected. It was at that point, that the idea of self publishing began to look more appealing. After the last Hell and Back book was published I became fully self published. It didn't get any easier. The life of a self-publisher author is stressful and costly and the fear of rejection, this time by readers, remains.
With each book I release I feel the same fear as when I sent my manuscripts for querying. I don't think the fear has ever left me. Maybe other authors don't feel like this; maybe they are more confident than I. I'm sure it's true. It's not that I'm not confident in my work. When I publish a book it is the best I can give. I often say to my other author friends, "is it weird to fall in love with your characters?" Because to me, each character is real. I agonize over their stories; the plot, the romance, the secondary characters.
I'm always afraid I'm letting my characters down if the book doesn't sell. And while I'm beyond fortunate to have had some success, I don't ever take it for granted. The publishing industry has undergone seismic changes these past four years since I was published I don't think anyone really knows what will happen.
One thing I know is that this fear will never prevent me from writing my books. Will people hate my books? Absolutely. Will they get things wrong about my books in reviews that I want to correct but won't? You bet. Will they say awful things about me and my writing ability in reviews. Yes again. Been there done that. I'm not fearful of that. I have never let anyone's opinion prevent me from making my own decisions about books, movies, or restaurants.
But to those who are fearful about pushing publish and think it gets easier, it hasn't for me. But if you love writing, you can't let that stop you. You have to put your heart in someone else's hands and let the book soar. If you don't no one will ever have that chance to fall in love with your words and ideas. Because for every person who doesn't like your book, there will be someone who loves it. And for every review that tears your confidence down, there will be an email or a message from a reader who says "thank you for writing that book. I could relate. That was me. It made me cry." think of their fear.
So whether Amazon becomes more or less powerful, or Barnes and Noble stays afloat or succumbs, I know we as authors and readers will roll with it and figure it all out.
Is it scary? Sure. But I couldn't image doing anything else.
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