When You’ve Emerged Out of the Fire
I’ve never told you something. Something painful. Something I’ve wrestled with and questioned God about almost daily.
I have a sweet grand baby in heaven. She left us after just 4 months.
Her name was Phoenix Jewel. PJ for short. Every December Facebook reminds me I don’t get to celebrate her birthday with cupcakes, and I have a good cry.
I wonder why Abba Father didn’t swoop down and protect her. Why He allowed it to happen. Because I know He could have just said one word and saved her life. But He didn’t.
Honestly, I have a lot of questions I’d like God to answer. We’ve walked through a few fires as a family. The Dunbars have fought the flames since day one. I should have worn a thermal white dress as I walked down the aisle. I can’t think of one year of my marriage where we haven’t had an explosive catastrophe.
Phoenix would be 6 this year. I imagine her dancing around heaven in pig tails and princess dress. I am sure she will show me all the sweet spots when we are reunited. Her ten tiny fingers left a lasting imprint on all our lives.
When my step daughter picked out her name, we were not exactly thrilled. You want to name her what? We privately joked about how perhaps one day she might have a sibling named Dallas or Orlando.
But today, I tell you her name was quite prophetic. In fact, Baby Phoenix helped her Abuela make a very brave choice today.
I’ve prayed for a few weeks now about my “one word” theme for 2018. I’ve tried to tune in to God’s voice the quiet. I am a terrible listener though, and just like last year, I wasn’t ready to “receive” with a surrendered heart.
I kept questioning. I didn’t want to walk the blazing path in front of me.
But here’s the thing: sometimes, you’re supposed to walk through the fire.
God has promised the fire will not consume me, but transform me.
God has promised the fire will not consume me, but transform me.
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On January 1st, I opened up a shiny, new book, and Bianca Juarez Olthoff encouraged me to play with fire because there’s always a purpose for the flames:
There will be proverbial fires that threaten our lives, moments that make us feel like all hope is gone and nothing can or will ever change. But I want to remind you, the that can be dangerous is the same fire that can refine and transform. It’s not about our circumstances; it’s about what we’re made of.” (p. 12)
I am not a fan of Greek Mythology or an adherent to early Catholic mysticism. But I am a believer in resurrection.
If you’re life is in ashes right now, remember God delights in making beautiful things out of dust.
Fire refines. First God, breaks our pride into tiny pieces. Then, He melts away our impurities in a crucible of affliction. Every fleck of fleshy fluff rises to the surface and is removed until we reveal His image.
This year, I want to stop fearing the fire and pray:
Lord, refine me through the flame.
Want to join me? To help you get started, I’m sharing a copy of My Pray Big Prayer Calendar with you. Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and grab a copy in our Faith Fuel Library. Print out your copy and start each morning inviting God to strengthen your step and breathe fresh wind into your weary spirit.
I’m going to start every day in January on my knees using this #PrayBig Calendar.
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As we surrender to the flame on our knees, our Savior will help us fuel a wildfire faith.
One glorious day soon, we will rise up from the ashes forever and dance in glory. This Abuela plans on getting her praise on right next to a little girl in pigtails.
When you’ve emerged out of the fire fully restored, you will reflect His face and recognize He is faithful.
My One Word for 2018 is
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