9k Words Into Alfie And Church. Looks Like We’re Laughing And Crying Through This One, Perverts.

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As you can see from the word count, we’re still in the early stages of book #34 (whaaaat?) but I’ve made a decent start since I sat down and got serious yesterday morning. Warning: the theme of this book appears to be sad sighs and giggles. You’ve been amazingly supportive and lovely since Exposed was released so I wanted to give you a glimpse of Alfie and Church. This is the roughest of drafts and most of this could change before we’re through but I love how this feels already and I think you will too.

Meet Alfie and Church:

 

“I should have called first. Is Alfie mad at me?” Church asked as Nora pointed at the cabinets over the washer.

“Alfie never gets mad. But you can tell you’re in trouble if he gets really screechy,” she said. “Like the time we accidentally sprayed the neighbor’s cat with the hose.”

“Accidentally?” He asked dubiously and she raised a shoulder.

“He was fighting with our squirrel,” she said.

“You have a squirrel?”

“He’s not ours, technically. He lives in the tree in our yard and Alfie puts out extra birdseed for him,” she explained. “We didn’t want to hurt Chester. We were just trying to help Rocky.”

“You named the squirrel Rocky?” He asked as he rested his hip against the washer and she shook her head.

“Alfie named her,” she said and Church nodded appreciatively then tilted his head as he raised a brow.

“Why did you leave your blanket yesterday?” He asked and she held up her hands innocently.

“It was an accident,” she lied and he pulled a face.

“It was not. Were you doing it to give Alfie a hard time?” He accused and her jaw fell.

“I wouldn’t do that!” She insisted as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Then why did you do it?” He asked and pulled his lips in to keep from laughing as she glared up at him.

“You looked at Alfie kind of like Ariel looked at Eric and he looked like Eric when he was under Ursula’s spell,” she said and he needed the washer for support.

“No, I didn’t!” He cried then ducked as he looked toward the kitchen.

“You did. Why is your name Church?” She asked and he spluttered for a moment as he tried to recall why.

“Ummm… I was a soldier and you’re not allowed to have a first name when you’re in the Army,” he said and she nodded slowly.

“I like Church. You’re kind of like a priest,” she decided and he recoiled in horror and guilt. He’d had some very impure thoughts after Alfie answered the door. He was obviously surprised to see Church, it made him looked dazed and thoroughly fucked with his wild hair and worn out t-shirt. Church wanted to sift his fingers though his hair as he nibbled and sucked on his lips. Alfie had perfect lips. They looked soft and he was always licking or chewing on them nervously.

“I’m nothing at all like a priest,” Church promised.

“Not like an old man priest,” Nora giggled. “Like a really cool one in a comic book who kills robots!” She said and Church thought that sounded pretty cool. “Why aren’t you allowed to have a name if you’re in the Army?” She asked and he snorted.

“Because most of us are named Jack and it would be hard to keep track of who’s in trouble.”

“We have three Amanda’s in my class and it’s even more confusing because there’s two Amanda J.s,” she said. “One of the Amandas is my best friend. The other two are really mean,” Nora added and Church frowned as he opened the cabinet and found stacks of neatly folded but faded and bleach stained towels.

“Why are they mean?” He asked and she sighed.

“Because my parents died and because of Alfie.”

“Kids can be such monsters. Why are they mean about Alfie?” He asked and her lip trembled. Church kind of wanted things to burn as her eyes shimmered.

“Because he likes boys instead of girls,” she whispered and Church fixed his hands when he realized they’d curled into fists. “One of the Amandas dads told her Alfie should go to jail and that he’s probably going to hell,” she said shakily.

“You know that’s not true, right?” Church asked as he tugged at her ponytail tail and she nodded.

“I know. I got in trouble because I told Amanda she could go to hell and her dad’s just bitter because he’s got a really ugly daughter,” she said and Church might have scared her, he laughed so loud and so hard.

“That’s perfect. Right there,” he said as he held out his palm so she could slap it. “She sounds hideous.”

“No one’s ever going to love her except her parents,” Nora predicted.

“I’m sorry she said that to you,” he said and she shrugged.

“I’m mostly sorry for Alfie. He tried to move away be happy but he had to come back for us. Kids were really mean and he wanted to grow up and go someplace where they’d be nice to him,” she said Church groaned. He probably grew up with most of Nora’s classmate’s parents.

“I think Alfie’s really happy and I know he’s proud of you for being super smart and brave,” Church said and she smiled.

“He didn’t get mad at me for calling Amanda J. ugly. He said I’m always going to be prettier and smarter than her and one day, I’m going to be something amazing and she’ll be a sad loser like her dad. Alfie said I can be anything I want.” She held out her arms so Church could hand her a small stack of towels.

“He’s absolutely right. What do you think you’ll decide to do?” He asked as he grabbed the rest of the towels and shut the cabinet.

“I’m going to be a wizard who kills robots,” she said and Church wished he had a hand free so he could scratch his head.

“You really don’t like robots.”

“Alfie says they’re going to take over the world.”

“Probably,” Church murmured then looked at the door as Alfie’s head poked into the garage.

“Is everything ok? You’ve been gone for a few minutes and I was afraid Nora was burying you in the yard,” he said and Nora rolled her eyes and made a weary sound.

“I need a lot more than five minutes. Look at how big he is.”