round ranginess of earth

This poem, from David Rivard's fifth book, Otherwise Elsewhere, sums up how I start to feel ( as a green midge/ or/ as a pine tree) on book tours.  In Quebec, while driving home to Maine, after reading in Montreal.NOTETO MYSELF
Havingsurvived self-esteem(both low & high), likesurfacing
outof a to-dolistfor civil warinthe heart—
Havingbeena back-stabber (when saidbackwas my own) or
luckyDarwinianholderoftheAce of Spades,
inmy mind—Gettingto see myselfas agreen midge
oras apine tree looming likeafetching samurai
atthe edgeof ameadow—I get a littletired--&strangely
everywhereI goseemsonestepcloser to wherever I
 thoughtIwas when I leftforwherever
Iwanted to be.Giventhe roundranginessof earth, always
thinkingof myself—that'sit for me, tho. Enough. Nomore,thank you. No, really.