When They Call Your Baby Ugly
Over the past week we saw a social campaign creative team have their baby called ugly. As creatives we know that from time to time this is going to happen. What seems like a great idea to us, something that carries the message in a way that is engaging etc turns out not to resonate with everyone. Not only doesn't it resonate it actually annoys people to the point where they point out how ugly our baby is to all and sundry.
That's An Ugly Baby!
For those of you who are parents (or dirty dancing fans) you will immediately know what this feels like. Whether it has happened to you or not, the thought of someone calling your new born child ugly is unspeakable. The bile rises, anger ensues, rationale goes out of the window. It is hard to hear that someone is critical of your baby. The reaction is no less when the "baby" in question is the product of a team of creatives who have brainstormed, included, rejected, thrown around countless ideas before finally crafting the finished product.
When criticism is given it is hard to receive when you have poured hours of labor into producing the piece that is being criticized. The usual reaction, an understandable one is to become defensive. We want to defend and justify our creative decisions, we seek to try and explain our creative process to the people criticizing us. We want them to understand our thoughts and our process so that they will stop their criticism. Unfortunately we can't do that, not really. Instead our defensiveness makes us unable to hear what is really being said.
Defending The Ugly Baby
At first we might reject the criticism, then we become really defensive and start to attack back. We want to find fault with the other person, to point out their shortcomings. Accuse them of being incapable of creativity or making anything worthwhile. Of course all this does is reduce our argument and its effectiveness. Onlookers see only someone who is avoiding addressing the issue and has now resorted to personal attacks. Of course our justification for this is that the other person was personal in the first place by calling our baby ugly. But as creatives we have to have thicker skins than that. Comments, observations, even direct criticisms of our work are not personal attacks, though they feel like it.
Responding as though these attacks are personal only aggravates the situation. Often making it much worse than it was originally. The more defensive we become the less we listen to what is being said. The less we listen the more likely we are to find ourselves in a place where the argument reaches a point of no return. An impasse where neither side can see a way forward so both become entrenched in their position. This is a situation that can arise in any relationship but it is particularly visible when the two parties concerned are high profile professional communicators.
What To Do With The Ugly Baby
As professional creatives and communicators we have to find ways of both making critical observations and receiving criticism in ways that doesn't lead to that impasse. When the talking stops and the arguing starts the discussion is over. Regardless of intent, criticism can be helpful, even if it wasn't intended to be. However being open to listening to it, weeding out the useless and retaining the lesson contained inside it can be an exercise is patience and discipline that escapes even the best of us.
In the internet age where critics are given their own name – "Trolls" and over sensitive creatives run screaming to their fan base for help fighting the trolls we are at risk of losing sight of the benefit that critics can bring. They can make us revisit our assumptions, push ourselves to try harder in our attempts, even to rethink and create something even better.
So how do you give criticism? How do you receive criticism?
I'm glad you took the time to read this post.
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