My sinuses are miracle workers

They violate the laws of physics every time I catch a cold. 

They can create enough snot to soak towel after towel after towel, so much that I am completely confident that I could fill a fish tank with their production (you're welcome for that image), and yet I lose not an ounce of weight. 

They can run all day and all night without consuming energy. 

They can produce things that H.R. Giger and Ridley Scott would reject as being too scary to appear in any Alien film. 

They can in seconds turn my face a satanic red--and with no warning.

I do not heart my sinuses or the cold I am slowly beating.