Making of a Guest of Honor Part III: At the Con

I made it! The morning smells of waffles, cinnamon, and chocolate muffins. Today, for the first time, I wear the mantle of guest of honor. It’s a day of laurels which must be why my breakfast is Continental. I A run of texts and emails waits. There is much to do, but first I must eat too much. You see at Cons, you often get anchored to a table or a panel so a smart author grabs food when they can. I gorge. Then, something spectacular catches my eye—

Smuckers peanut butter packets!

My eyes light up. An evil grin consumes my face and I quickly toast a bagel. With a smear of peanut butter, a glop of jelly, a paper bowl, and a napkin I prepare lunch! After that, it’s on to the Salem Convention center and Geek Mob 2017.

A drop strikes the windshield as I turn the ignition. I frown, but Terry Pratchett’s Dodger plays over the stereo to cheer me up. The CD’s getting to the good part. The rain patters, then starts a tremendous drum solo. It beats with a pattern so quick you can’t distinguish the strikes. Luckily, there are no cymbals, but still, the wipers sweep away sheets of water.
The GPS drones on oblivious.

The Con opens at one and I pull in at eleven. The parking lot street lights create not A Halo of Mushrooms, but a cascade of diamonds. I dash to the trunk, pelted by the Wicked Witch’s natural enemy and pull some trash bags over my books. I grab my dolly and take the first load in.

By the time I reach the front door, rivulets pour from my face and my shirt lies plastered to my skin. Someone opens the door. The world changes. It’s Oz. It’s Wonderland. It’s a Con. A table lies before the entry with a scatter of comic books. A rainbow of posters grace the walls. Frozen robots await activation to serve or destroy. Adults and children scurry and strangely when they see me… their eyes widen.

They know who I am.

Organizers clasp my hand. Theirs are already dry. Mine squishes. We exchange smiles. Water beads on the garbage bag over my stuff. I stand in a puddle of my own making. They ask if I need anything.

Coffee? A towel?

We laugh. They assign someone to help me to my table. People ask me about the trip. They tell me they’re excited I came. The Con Host, Matthew Correll, sees me and offers me a hug. Brenda Nicole McGuire, one of the organizers, hands me a badge marked GOH.

Around me, the telltale clatter of scaffolding and squeak of dollies sound. Vendors drag boxes of comic books, artwork, and crafts to their own tables as well as displaying amazing pieces of nostalgia from the ‘30’s, 60’s, etc. Some circulate. Most wave hello. My own dolly stops before my designated spot.



They place me at the first table. It’s dressed in black velvet. Two five pound dumb bells rest on the tabletop. These I requested (I’m such a diva) to use as paper weights. I unfurl my banner, unpack my novels before dashing into the rain again to bring in the Sesame Workshops donations to help the Blue Ridge Autism Society from the Sesame Workshop, some of my artwork, and a scattering of magnets. Someone follows in my wake.

The GOH rates a schlepper.

We grab the few last goodies including my smuggled peanut butter and jelly bagel and I pause to smile at an inflated Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man and a tarped replica of Herbie, the Love Bug.



The rain is starting to subside. Inside, I finish setting up the table. This part feels like every other Con, except while I’m hanging paintings, Bryan Handcock, a local DJ, walks up.

“Andrew,” he says, “It’s great to meet you!” His voice rises a little as if he’s genuinely excited. In his hands, he holds a Muppet soundtrack LP. He takes in the Julia Muppet, books, and laughs at some of the one liners that make up my humor paintings. Then, to business. Bryan starts telling me about myself. He’s done his homework. I hear about my books, radio career, and one or two Muppet stories that I have shared in the past. This takes me aback…

I guess I am the Guest of Honor.

Being a radio guy, Bryan walks me to check out the sound system in the main auditorium and the panel room. I talk to the engineers about splitting the sound from the mixer so I can record an audio version for myself and for Xistance (They asked me to produce a story on my story.)

How meta is that?

The clock chimes 1:00 pm.

The opening festivities begin with a little bit of history. It turns out that Geek Mob is seven years old. Kinda cool. I’ve never been someone’s seven year itch before. Host Matthew Correll, the brain behind State of the Nerd, provides an overview of the day and all the cool things planned at today’s Geek Mob. Then, he introduces me and artistic guest of honor Jenn Depaola. and we say a few unscripted words. The day is officially on.



Adult Halloween starts with the opening. I gaze at the amazing Cosplay. There are Uncanny X-Men, Batmen, Dumbledore’s and Gandalf’s. My favorite at Geek Mob 2017 comes in the form of a family who dressed as Schoolhouse Rock. The daughter goes as “I’m just a Bill” and the mother shines as “Conjunction Junction.”


Yes, I’m a nerd.

When I return to my table, a line waits for me: men, women, children, some in costume, and others carrying books cluster. They have eyes like bill collectors. I break into stories. The crowd thickens a bit as my voice tends to carry. One of the best things about Cons is actually talking with people. Sharing your successes and failures, spinning your tales... Even better, hearing theirs.

The day continues. People come to me to ask for writing tips, thumb through my books, and some even ignore me!

My Q&A is set for 3pm. It’s Geek Mob’s last “big” event before the costume contest. The auditorium is about half-full. I pick up my mic and chatter with the crowd as they get seated. Bryan introduces me with flare, then like pulling out at starting gun he says, “Go.” And I do.

For the first half hour I recall my time with Dave Goelz, Rollie Krewson, Bonnie Erickson, Jim Lewis, and all the rest of the Jim Henson gang. I call this period of my life “geek heaven” and gladly share stories about how each of them got into the business, the pranks they played on each other, how various Muppets were invented, and more. I interweave these with my own stories as a writer, as a nervous first time panelist at the National Press Club, as a fledgling reporter at WAMU or as an author trying to emerge above the white noise. The second half hour is a Q & A. From the audience, I am asked about the back story to A Halo of Mushrooms and how I came up with the humor of A Climbing Stock. I spill. It’s a good chat and the applause is warm. The talk ends with more people than it started with.

I return to my table with a few people trailing behind. We continue chatting. That’s what it’s about.
As the Con ends, guests and organizers ask me to stay for the after party. There’s going to be music and a magician, they tempt. I decide to catch the magic act. He’s good, but he’s also dangerous. You see, his show not only features illusions and sleight of hand, but hypnosis with victims pulled from the audience.

It goes like this.

Everyone close your eyes. Now, extend your arms and imagine one arm being attached to a hot air balloon and another attached to the brick. Feel one arm rising and the other being dragged down.

After a bit, he asks us to open our eyes. From this, smiling with malice, he chooses his victims.

I, of course, am one of them.

They put me in the third chair. I watch as he drops two people. They just fall over asleep at the merest suggestion. I’m skeptical, but decide I don’t want to be hypnotized. So, as he approaches me and stares into my eyes I start naming fruit when he begins to count down.
“One,” he says.

“Plum,” I think.

“Two,” he says.

“Banana,” I respond. And so forth. Then, he pauses and says, “Strange, isn’t it?” before getting to ten which sounds to me like a rather squat kumquat.

“Sleep.” He commands.

I stare at him.

He tips his head down. Playfully, I lower my head. Shrugging, he taps my shoulder and gestures that I can return to my seat. He succeeds with the other three.

The funniest bit was when he told a girl that she would be unable to recall the number nine, that it would be on the tip of her tongue, but that she would be unable to conjure up the number. Then he had her count on her fingers…

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. 8….” A look of confusion grows on her face, followed by a look of frustration. Amiably, he suggests she try again, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…” On the failed third attempt she blurts out—

“This is bad! I’m a math major!”

Even the magician laughs at that. Luckily, he restores the number nine to her. The day ends with everyone smiling. I pack up my gear and head back to the hotel. Being Guest of Honor was a blast. I drive home the next morning and by the time I pull into the driveway Terry Pratchett’s Dodger concludes.

Being a Guest of Honor is much like being an author. There’s prep, creativity, and editing, but there’s also a need to listen to the story and improvise to its demands. It’s also, as it is with every tale, not really about the author.
Most people think that writing is a solitary profession. It’s not. It’s about relationships. It’s about a community that supports you during the creation and production. Even more, it really is about the reader.After all, each person who reads one of my books reads a slightly different tale. The words may be the same, but the narrative is reinvented through their philosophy, experience, and willingness to play along. Being a guest of honor is the same. It’s about listening as much as it is about speaking. If you listen, engage, work, and play, you can be a Guest of Honor that hasn’t worn out his welcome.

I think the one suggestion I would offer future guests of honors who read this is… don’t be afraid to have fun. Take it seriously, but enjoy the ride. We are lucky. It is amazing that people care about our works. Allow yourself to indulge in the moment. After all, you probably became a writer because first you were a lover of stories. If you get a chance to share a weekend that is all about the imagination… You better slide on every slide and swing on every swing. Just remember to share. Playgrounds are most fun when everyone gets a turn and everyone is playing together. Also remember, behind the scenes, a Con takes a lot of hard work and people who volunteer many hours to create this Adult Halloween. It’s your job as guest or guest of honor to respect that, helps as you can, go above the minimum, and enjoy the heck out of it. .

Thanks to Matthew Correll, Jason Turner, Brenda Nicole McGuire and everyone else involved in the making of Geek Mob 2017. Thanks also to Candace Johnson, Alicia Hiller-Mahmoudov, Henry Sienkiewisz, David Furst, Dave Goelz, Bonnie Erickson, Arthur Novell, and to all who made this experience possible. From the first draft of A Climbing Stock to the final edits of A Halo of Mushrooms I owe all of you so much!