Benson Bruno: “You exude quite an aura. Are you willing to lease it out?” Orafoura’s got the aura, and he might be willing to lease his aura for the title of your soul. But you’ll still have to pay for tax, tag, title, and dealer fees.

Benson Bruno: “Some of the things you write make me scratch my head, and the last time I did there was a knife in my hand. Why did you give me a machete before your public reading?” Why does the bumblebee have yellow and black stripes? In this case, it’s because I was doing a reading from my book, “The Jungle,” and I thought it appropriate to pass out machetes to everyone in the audience. However, the principal of the elementary school where I was giving my reading thought this was a poor decision. What a foolish, foolish man that principal was.

Benson Bruno: “Why haven’t you visited me in the hospital?” I sent some balloons and a hooker up to your room, and I thought this was sufficient. Clearly you expected more. I knew I should have sent up two whores.

Benson Bruno: “What do you think of the way people are dancing these days?” I just don’t get modern dance. The waltz, the foxtrot, all these sinful dances created by lustful modern men, I think it’s distasteful. I say bring back pre-modern dance, like they used to do in those wholesome times when man lived in caves and dragged his hairy knuckles on the ground.

Benson Bruno: “I’ve noticed you’re stocking up on a lot of canned food to prepare for the coming crisis. But why only beets?” That’s like asking a rainbow why the only colors it chooses to display are all of the known colors. But what about the unknown colors? From everything I know and unknow about beets, I believe that not only are they a healthy source of food, but they’ll also be used as currency once the dollar is devalued and people start to seek out a more tangible form for daily transactions.

Benson Bruno: “Boxers or briefs? Are there any other hats you like?” No, I don’t agree with Keynesian monetary policy, and I think the government does have a lot to cover up. It’s like the Austrians might have said, “We don’t need a hat, because we have nothing to cover up.”

Benson Bruno: “Having read much of your work, I’ve noticed that you have a deep need of being deceived. What are some of the ways newspapers have infiltrated your compositions?” I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade reading level. If so, I can’t figure out why journalists would write something that the average high school senior can’t even read.

Benson Bruno: “Recently, there have been some Orafoura sightings in Tacos, as well as a Mt. Rushmore transformation. We’re all wondering about the next manifestation. What’s your prediction?” Orafoura’s like a river of fire. You don’t want to swim in him, and at the same time he does make a great smoked salmon. All I can say is look to the stars. And while you’re staring into the heavens, Orafoura might come up from hell and steal your wallet.

Benson Bruno: “If you could be any historical figure, why would you want to be a myth?” I wouldn’t want to be just any old myth, I’d want to be The Mythical Mr. Boo. Some people believe Sir Francis bacon is actually The Mythical Mr. Boo.

Benson Bruno: “If you could put Shakespeare on the rack, what secret would you extract?” I’d demand the truth. Is Shakespeare Sir Francis Bacon, or is that rumor just a bunch of scrambled eggs.

Benson Bruno: “What advice do you have for the kids?” Either be fruitful and multiply, or be a vegetable and act like a mouse potato.

Benson Bruno
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Published on September 19, 2011 13:08 • 367 views • Tags: benson-bruno, jarod-kintz, orafoura
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message 1: by Megha (new)

Megha ""Benson Bruno: “Having read much of your work, I’ve noticed that you have a deep need of being deceived. What are some of the ways newspapers have infiltrated your compositions?” I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade reading level. If so, I can’t figure out why journalists would write something that the average high school senior can’t even read."" ( love this para )
it must be a humorous way to tell the point but u see this is so true ....journalism has become so flashy ...i hate it when thr's more adds of LV, Dior, Fendi more then real news :((


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