Off My Shelf: I'm For the Hippopotamus (1979)
I've previously discussed the movies Aladdin and
Why Did You Pick On Me?
-- foreign-produced movies starring the late, great Italian actor, Bud Spencer. Movies so absurd and stupid and (in cases) poorly made, that they are fun to watch.
This movie features Bud Spencer, and it's absurd and stupid. But it's not quite fun to watch.
Let me give you the plot, as described on Amazon. (Grammatical errors are all theirs, incidentally...)
"In Africa, many years ago, Slim and Tom don't like it when a German tyrant, starts selling all of the African wildlife to Canadian Zoos! Slim and Tom must teach this guy a lesson by beating the hell out of him and his gang, left and right!"
But that version of the plot makes it make too much sense.
Here is the plot as ascertained by watching it:
At some unclear point in "olden days", Bud Spencer and the skinny guy are brothers (?) who live in a small town in rural Africa. Bud Spencer tries to make a living giving safari tours to foreign tourists. His skinny brother is some sort of con man who makes things difficult for Bud for no clear reason (like shooting out the tires on his vehicle when he tries to do his tours). Meanwhile, a retired American boxer (the "German tyrant" from above?) pulls eminent domain on some African natives. Then the boxer invites the brothers to dinner, where they seem ill-at-ease and eat as if they don't know how food works.
He's got like five steaks on his plate! And there
are napkins on his shoulders! It's so comedy!Then the brothers release all the wildlife this guy has penned up. Then they go to a casino to make some money. Then they get arrested for some reason. Then they escape from prison. Then they release some more wildlife. Then they go on a boat, and they release some wildlife that is about to be shipped to Canada, and -- accompanied by majestic music -- we see lots of zebras run off a boat. Then the brothers steal the boat and ride away. The End.
"Majestic."
Characters
As I mentioned, the main characters are Bud Spencer and his "brother" as played by Terrence Hill. I don't understand their relationship, I don't understand anything about them. Except that Bud Spencer wears a pink pacifier around his neck "because mama wanted a little girl" -- and Terrence Hill's character is really good at Three Card Monte. Those are things that I understand. Everything else makes no sense. I especially don't understand why the "German Tyrant" (aka retired American boxer?) is pulling eminent domain on the African village, or why he's stealing wildlife to sell to (specifically) Canadian zoos.
"Brothers." Or, cousins. It's kind of unclear. They apparently had
Dads who were brothers... but just one Mom? An African lady?
I didn't think about it too hard, because I doubt the scriptwriter did either. Structure and Content I was initially trying to figure out if there was some sub-text to this movie, like a pro-animals, anti-hunting thing, or even an "anti-European expansionism" thing... but... no. I think that would be reading entirely too much into it.
One of two lengthy arm-wrestling scenes in this movie.
There are too many points where it seems like they are just wasting time. Not one, but two lengthy arm-wrestling scenes? Not one, but two lengthy three-card monte scenes? Lengthy discussions between characters that go nowhere and lead to nothing? And aren't funny?
This "movie" plays out more like you would expect if someone had taken twenty episodes of a TV show and tried to condense them down into a two-hour film. It's episodic and extremely nonsensical. I suppose, in theory, that (since this was one of many films featuring Terrence Hill and Bud Spencer) it was meant to be in the tradition of an Abbott and Costello film or a Road picture. You know, "In this episode, they're in the Navy! And they're smuggling a boatload of watermelons until they get shipwrecked on this island and NOW the big chief is making them BOTH marry his daughter -- but then the mad scientist's rocket goes off and they're blasted to Mars where they find gold!"
...In other words, it seems to be from a tradition of, "a series of films where the plot can be surreal or goofy or nonsensical." But there's a big difference between "nonsensical" and "incoherent."
Of course, even that would be acceptable IF THE MOVIE WAS JUST FUNNY, but there are really just a few moments where it's even mildly humorous.
Ultimately... This movie... isn't very good. I can't even recommend it as a "good bad movie" because it's kind of hard to follow. It had its moments, and it wouldn't be a horrendous movie to pop in if you wanted to distract small children for an hour and had absolutely nothing better to show them, but, no, you don't need to watch this movie.
NOT RECOMMENDED
This movie features Bud Spencer, and it's absurd and stupid. But it's not quite fun to watch.
Let me give you the plot, as described on Amazon. (Grammatical errors are all theirs, incidentally...)
"In Africa, many years ago, Slim and Tom don't like it when a German tyrant, starts selling all of the African wildlife to Canadian Zoos! Slim and Tom must teach this guy a lesson by beating the hell out of him and his gang, left and right!"
But that version of the plot makes it make too much sense.
Here is the plot as ascertained by watching it:
At some unclear point in "olden days", Bud Spencer and the skinny guy are brothers (?) who live in a small town in rural Africa. Bud Spencer tries to make a living giving safari tours to foreign tourists. His skinny brother is some sort of con man who makes things difficult for Bud for no clear reason (like shooting out the tires on his vehicle when he tries to do his tours). Meanwhile, a retired American boxer (the "German tyrant" from above?) pulls eminent domain on some African natives. Then the boxer invites the brothers to dinner, where they seem ill-at-ease and eat as if they don't know how food works.
He's got like five steaks on his plate! And thereare napkins on his shoulders! It's so comedy!Then the brothers release all the wildlife this guy has penned up. Then they go to a casino to make some money. Then they get arrested for some reason. Then they escape from prison. Then they release some more wildlife. Then they go on a boat, and they release some wildlife that is about to be shipped to Canada, and -- accompanied by majestic music -- we see lots of zebras run off a boat. Then the brothers steal the boat and ride away. The End.
"Majestic."
Characters
As I mentioned, the main characters are Bud Spencer and his "brother" as played by Terrence Hill. I don't understand their relationship, I don't understand anything about them. Except that Bud Spencer wears a pink pacifier around his neck "because mama wanted a little girl" -- and Terrence Hill's character is really good at Three Card Monte. Those are things that I understand. Everything else makes no sense. I especially don't understand why the "German Tyrant" (aka retired American boxer?) is pulling eminent domain on the African village, or why he's stealing wildlife to sell to (specifically) Canadian zoos.
"Brothers." Or, cousins. It's kind of unclear. They apparently hadDads who were brothers... but just one Mom? An African lady?
I didn't think about it too hard, because I doubt the scriptwriter did either. Structure and Content I was initially trying to figure out if there was some sub-text to this movie, like a pro-animals, anti-hunting thing, or even an "anti-European expansionism" thing... but... no. I think that would be reading entirely too much into it.
One of two lengthy arm-wrestling scenes in this movie.There are too many points where it seems like they are just wasting time. Not one, but two lengthy arm-wrestling scenes? Not one, but two lengthy three-card monte scenes? Lengthy discussions between characters that go nowhere and lead to nothing? And aren't funny?
This "movie" plays out more like you would expect if someone had taken twenty episodes of a TV show and tried to condense them down into a two-hour film. It's episodic and extremely nonsensical. I suppose, in theory, that (since this was one of many films featuring Terrence Hill and Bud Spencer) it was meant to be in the tradition of an Abbott and Costello film or a Road picture. You know, "In this episode, they're in the Navy! And they're smuggling a boatload of watermelons until they get shipwrecked on this island and NOW the big chief is making them BOTH marry his daughter -- but then the mad scientist's rocket goes off and they're blasted to Mars where they find gold!"
...In other words, it seems to be from a tradition of, "a series of films where the plot can be surreal or goofy or nonsensical." But there's a big difference between "nonsensical" and "incoherent."
Of course, even that would be acceptable IF THE MOVIE WAS JUST FUNNY, but there are really just a few moments where it's even mildly humorous.
Ultimately... This movie... isn't very good. I can't even recommend it as a "good bad movie" because it's kind of hard to follow. It had its moments, and it wouldn't be a horrendous movie to pop in if you wanted to distract small children for an hour and had absolutely nothing better to show them, but, no, you don't need to watch this movie.
NOT RECOMMENDED
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