Here's another free short story from "Underneath."
I just hit the 500 follower mark on Twitter, which was a goal I'd set for the weekend. I said that if I reached that goal, I would post another free short story from "Underneath: Short Tales of Horror and the Supernatural." Granted, the whole collection is free on Barnes & Noble, but still. This is more convenient.
Here we go.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Terror by Text
I wrote thisstory while sitting on my deck, having a cigar. When I started it waslight out, but dusk crept up without me noticing. This story creepedme out more than any other in the collection, though I'm fully awarethat the title sucks.
* * *
ScaresYou: Well, I hope you're readyfor this. I'm at the old Windy Meadows Sanitarium. Alone, as Ipromised. Go to my page to see a stock photo of the exterior. Thatwas taken a long time ago. It's much creepier now.
ScaresYou: The sun just disappearedbelow the horizon. We have liftoff.
ScaresYou: Oh, and it looks like rain.How perfect is that?
ScaresYou @1HungLow: Good question. Theload = 2 bright-ass LED flashlights, headlamp, lantern, cell phone(duh), extra batteries for everything, sandwiches, couple bottles ofwater, sleeping bag, latest SK book.
ScaresYou @dainbramaged: No gun, but Ido have an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on my back. Hea-vy.
ScaresYou: In we go...
ScaresYou: Nice: RT@blockcocker Whensomeone asks if you're a god, you say yes!
ScaresYou: I should warn you that these"Ghostbusters" quotes could go on all night. If you haven'tever seen it, why are you reading me?
ScaresYou: Creaky door...cool.Forgetting about creaky door and letting it slam behind me...notcool.
ScaresYou RT@Robomop: Break out thebackup underwear?
ScaresYou: Heh. It'll take more thanthat to make me shit my pants. Oh, damn...what if I actually have totake a crap tonight? How long before TP biodegrades, anyway?
ScaresYou: Moving on...dust everywhere,enough to leave footprints. So far, mine are the only ones. I seeanother set, I'm out. :-)
ScaresYou: When these places close, isit mandatory that someone be tasked with overturning gurneys in thehall and leaving a doll somewhere? Because I just saw both.#alternatecareerideas
ScaresYou: Spontaneous doll namingcontest, and winner gets signed edition of whatever they want. Go.
ScaresYou: All of the "guest"rooms are open; I'll go to my grave wondering if that's creepier thanclosed doors or not.
ScaresYou @Darcy411: Yes, that was anabsolutely awful choice of words. I have a real gift for that kind ofstuff.
ScaresYou: There are bats here. Whywouldn't there be bats? I guess that means a lot less bugs, though.I'm Mr. Positive.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u hav therite to remain in feer
ScaresYou: I love it when my fans getinto character. Officer "Corpse" Christie, for those whomight have only just discovered my work, was a cop (complete withilliterate killer personality) in one of my earlier novels.
ScaresYou: He had...issues.
ScaresYou: Spontaneous naming contestwinner: "Raggedy Sybil." @ccdrummer4life, send your bookchoice and mailing address.
ScaresYou: Holy crap, I wish I couldtell you how fast my heart is racing right now. A damn raccoon justskittered right in front of me.
ScaresYou: "Skitter" is whatcreatures do in a place like this, by the way. It's a law; I lookedit up.
ScaresYou: Also, I just shut that doorfast. Starve, you little bastard.
ScaresYou: I just checked, and I gotsome great video of the raccoon. Oh, I'm taking some video here andthere. Check the site in a few days.
ScaresYou: Found base camp. Infirmary1. They still have beds. I'll be burning my sleeping bag tomorrow,though. Regretting not bringing hand sanitizer. Or a HAZMAT suit.
ScaresYou: Lunch break. I won't boreyou with details unless I find the Madonna in my turkey sammich.
ScaresYou: I'm fine. Sorry for thelull. Tryptophan kicked in and I dozed. No Madonna, although my handswere covered in fucking ants when I woke up. #heebiejeebies and#washyourhands.
ScaresYou: Yes, folks, I know theturkey sleepy thing is a myth. I bend truth but make you feel likeit's still real; it's what you pay me for. By the way, thanks againfor that. It beats actually working.
ScaresYou: And this is how you go fromamusing to creepy in no time. Relax, dude. RT@corpsechristie sleepgood? u wont sleep agin 4 a long time
ScaresYou: Obviously another aspiringauthor. :-)
ScaresYou: Into the next circle...justleaving my shit here for now.
ScaresYou: Wow, this place is decrepit.I can hear it falling down around me. I mean that literally. At firstI though the cracking sounds were just rain (which has intensified,by the way), then I saw pieces of the wall flake off.
ScaresYou @KarlawithaK: I'm man enoughto admit that, yes, I'm a little freaked out. But I've also gottenlike fifty more ideas to scare the piss out of you, so that makes ita win/win.
ScaresYou: For the record, I've gained16 followers since I walked through the door. I also nuked one. Youmight be able to guess who that was. I have a pretty high tolerancefor morbid talk, but even I have my limits.
ScaresYou: No, I won't RT them, yousickos. ;-) Believe me, I'm doing you a favor.
ScaresYou: I'll be honest. Athunderclap got me bad. And I'm now looking at a door labeled"Violent Patients Ward." I volunteered for this?
ScaresYou RT@NovelistJunior: As anaspiring writer, you're my hero for keeping up your spelling andpunctuation under duress.
ScaresYou: Several other people havesent similar thoughts. It's automatic for me. It kind of has to be.
ScaresYou: Let me give all of youwannabe-pros a valuable tip. Writers don't "practice."Every damn word you write, Tweet, email, Facebook, text...it's alwaysgame time if you want to ever be legit.
ScaresYou: dont eva tlk lik dis, k?
ScaresYou: My wife knows that if I eversend a text to her that isn't capitalized, punctuated, etc. to callthe cops, because something's wrong. True story. Ask her.
ScaresYou @CopyCatherine: No, I'm notstalling. As far as you know.
ScaresYou: I've been to multiplehaunted sites, been alone in rooms with serial killers, been marriedtwice...and this is by far the most uncomfortable I've ever been.
ScaresYou: Signal's crappy here, so letme know if you're getting these.
ScaresYou: Good to know. Thanks,everyone.
ScaresYou: More pics for the site.
ScaresYou: Bad things happened here,people.
ScaresYou RT@BarryTBarnes: If you feellonely, you're right next to the converted TB ward. Approx. 10,000ghosts to keep you company.
ScaresYou: Gee, thanks for that.
ScaresYou: Found something weird here.I know I saw the layout of this place online somewhere. Someone findit and tell me what's between rooms 18 and 20.
ScaresYou: Nothing, my ass. I just wentinto both of the rooms and there's a big space in between. The roomwalls are cement, but the wall outside is just plaster. Do I engagein my first B&E?
ScaresYou: Somehow I knew which waythat question was going to go. Apparently, all of my readers arefelons. Eat your heart out, Dan Brown!
ScaresYou: Fire axe, meet wall. Wall,fire axe. Hey, they're tearing this place down, anyway.
ScaresYou RT@nahtanoj: This is the mostawesome thing ever. Better than Geraldo/Capone.
ScaresYou: Not a normal wall. It'salmost a foot thick. Had to take a break. But I'm through. Youhaven't seen darkness until you've seen THIS darkness. Glad I broughtall of these lights.
ScaresYou: I thought I lost this guy.RT@corpsechristie: u screwd up
ScaresYou: Okay, now I definitely gotrid of him.
ScaresYou RT@domino1212: What's in theroom already?!?
ScaresYou: Nothing yet. Can't see athing. It's a LOT bigger than I thought it would be. The hole lookslike it's fifty yards away. No sounds. No echoes when I yell, either.It's cold.
ScaresYou: How can there be wind inhere?
ScaresYou: Jesus, this place is vast.The lights aren't hitting anything. They're just getting...swallowedup.
ScaresYou: I tripped over a shoe. Awhite nurse's shoe! You know what? I'm heading back to the nice,normal part of the haunted hospital. This isn't worth a broken leg orcave-in.
ScaresYou: Yes, of course I'm takingthe shoe as a creepy souvenir.
ScaresYou: If I didn't know better, I'dsay the wind was following me. I'm that creeped out. Glad to be ridof that room.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: 2 late
ScaresYou: Okay, I didn't RT that.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u dint hav2 im out now
ScaresYou: What the Hell is going onhere? Did one of you hack my account?
ScaresYou @CarmenZ: No, I am definitelynot fucking okay! DID ONE OF YOU HACK MY GODDAMN ACCOUNT?!?
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: i did butnot n the way u think
ScaresYou: I swear to God, if I findout who's doing this, I'll put you under this place. That's apromise.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: tuff guy!tuff guys hav the rite to remain in pain
ScaresYou @corpsechristie: Fuck off,you psycho.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: nice shirt2 bad its got a big mayo stain on it now
ScaresYou: This prick can see mesomehow. I'm outta here.
ScaresYou: Back in the infirmary. Myshit's gone. He's here. Someone please call the cops. I'm not gettingthrough. I'M NOT KIDDING. HELP ME.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u hav therite to remain bleedin
ScaresYou: Someone please tell me thecops are on their way!
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u hav therite to remain screeming
ScaresYou: I see headlights. Thank you,thank you!
ScaresYou: Had a bad feeling and hid.Hear footsteps.
ScaresYou: Cop at the entryway. Lord, Irecognize him. I created him.
ScaresYou: Freaking out. Not hangingaround anymore. No place to go but back in. Send help. Please.
ScaresYou: Back at the hidden room.Remember how huge it is. Maybe lose him in here. Don't want to goback in.
ScaresYou:Yelling...gunshot...laughing. Footsteps echoing. Can't figure outwhere they're coming from.
ScaresYou: No choice. Going in. Roombetween 18 and 20. REMEMBER THAT.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u hav therite to remain in custedy 4evr
ScaresYou RT@jabbathehuffer: You okay,dude?
ScaresYou RT@tammycakes: You there?
ScaresYou RT@tapout247: I'm calling thecops again!
ScaresYou RT@liquorupfront: Damn it,say something!
ScaresYou: im fine thx talk 2 ya l8r
Here we go.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Terror by Text
I wrote thisstory while sitting on my deck, having a cigar. When I started it waslight out, but dusk crept up without me noticing. This story creepedme out more than any other in the collection, though I'm fully awarethat the title sucks.
* * *
ScaresYou: Well, I hope you're readyfor this. I'm at the old Windy Meadows Sanitarium. Alone, as Ipromised. Go to my page to see a stock photo of the exterior. Thatwas taken a long time ago. It's much creepier now.
ScaresYou: The sun just disappearedbelow the horizon. We have liftoff.
ScaresYou: Oh, and it looks like rain.How perfect is that?
ScaresYou @1HungLow: Good question. Theload = 2 bright-ass LED flashlights, headlamp, lantern, cell phone(duh), extra batteries for everything, sandwiches, couple bottles ofwater, sleeping bag, latest SK book.
ScaresYou @dainbramaged: No gun, but Ido have an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on my back. Hea-vy.
ScaresYou: In we go...
ScaresYou: Nice: RT@blockcocker Whensomeone asks if you're a god, you say yes!
ScaresYou: I should warn you that these"Ghostbusters" quotes could go on all night. If you haven'tever seen it, why are you reading me?
ScaresYou: Creaky door...cool.Forgetting about creaky door and letting it slam behind me...notcool.
ScaresYou RT@Robomop: Break out thebackup underwear?
ScaresYou: Heh. It'll take more thanthat to make me shit my pants. Oh, damn...what if I actually have totake a crap tonight? How long before TP biodegrades, anyway?
ScaresYou: Moving on...dust everywhere,enough to leave footprints. So far, mine are the only ones. I seeanother set, I'm out. :-)
ScaresYou: When these places close, isit mandatory that someone be tasked with overturning gurneys in thehall and leaving a doll somewhere? Because I just saw both.#alternatecareerideas
ScaresYou: Spontaneous doll namingcontest, and winner gets signed edition of whatever they want. Go.
ScaresYou: All of the "guest"rooms are open; I'll go to my grave wondering if that's creepier thanclosed doors or not.
ScaresYou @Darcy411: Yes, that was anabsolutely awful choice of words. I have a real gift for that kind ofstuff.
ScaresYou: There are bats here. Whywouldn't there be bats? I guess that means a lot less bugs, though.I'm Mr. Positive.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u hav therite to remain in feer
ScaresYou: I love it when my fans getinto character. Officer "Corpse" Christie, for those whomight have only just discovered my work, was a cop (complete withilliterate killer personality) in one of my earlier novels.
ScaresYou: He had...issues.
ScaresYou: Spontaneous naming contestwinner: "Raggedy Sybil." @ccdrummer4life, send your bookchoice and mailing address.
ScaresYou: Holy crap, I wish I couldtell you how fast my heart is racing right now. A damn raccoon justskittered right in front of me.
ScaresYou: "Skitter" is whatcreatures do in a place like this, by the way. It's a law; I lookedit up.
ScaresYou: Also, I just shut that doorfast. Starve, you little bastard.
ScaresYou: I just checked, and I gotsome great video of the raccoon. Oh, I'm taking some video here andthere. Check the site in a few days.
ScaresYou: Found base camp. Infirmary1. They still have beds. I'll be burning my sleeping bag tomorrow,though. Regretting not bringing hand sanitizer. Or a HAZMAT suit.
ScaresYou: Lunch break. I won't boreyou with details unless I find the Madonna in my turkey sammich.
ScaresYou: I'm fine. Sorry for thelull. Tryptophan kicked in and I dozed. No Madonna, although my handswere covered in fucking ants when I woke up. #heebiejeebies and#washyourhands.
ScaresYou: Yes, folks, I know theturkey sleepy thing is a myth. I bend truth but make you feel likeit's still real; it's what you pay me for. By the way, thanks againfor that. It beats actually working.
ScaresYou: And this is how you go fromamusing to creepy in no time. Relax, dude. RT@corpsechristie sleepgood? u wont sleep agin 4 a long time
ScaresYou: Obviously another aspiringauthor. :-)
ScaresYou: Into the next circle...justleaving my shit here for now.
ScaresYou: Wow, this place is decrepit.I can hear it falling down around me. I mean that literally. At firstI though the cracking sounds were just rain (which has intensified,by the way), then I saw pieces of the wall flake off.
ScaresYou @KarlawithaK: I'm man enoughto admit that, yes, I'm a little freaked out. But I've also gottenlike fifty more ideas to scare the piss out of you, so that makes ita win/win.
ScaresYou: For the record, I've gained16 followers since I walked through the door. I also nuked one. Youmight be able to guess who that was. I have a pretty high tolerancefor morbid talk, but even I have my limits.
ScaresYou: No, I won't RT them, yousickos. ;-) Believe me, I'm doing you a favor.
ScaresYou: I'll be honest. Athunderclap got me bad. And I'm now looking at a door labeled"Violent Patients Ward." I volunteered for this?
ScaresYou RT@NovelistJunior: As anaspiring writer, you're my hero for keeping up your spelling andpunctuation under duress.
ScaresYou: Several other people havesent similar thoughts. It's automatic for me. It kind of has to be.
ScaresYou: Let me give all of youwannabe-pros a valuable tip. Writers don't "practice."Every damn word you write, Tweet, email, Facebook, text...it's alwaysgame time if you want to ever be legit.
ScaresYou: dont eva tlk lik dis, k?
ScaresYou: My wife knows that if I eversend a text to her that isn't capitalized, punctuated, etc. to callthe cops, because something's wrong. True story. Ask her.
ScaresYou @CopyCatherine: No, I'm notstalling. As far as you know.
ScaresYou: I've been to multiplehaunted sites, been alone in rooms with serial killers, been marriedtwice...and this is by far the most uncomfortable I've ever been.
ScaresYou: Signal's crappy here, so letme know if you're getting these.
ScaresYou: Good to know. Thanks,everyone.
ScaresYou: More pics for the site.
ScaresYou: Bad things happened here,people.
ScaresYou RT@BarryTBarnes: If you feellonely, you're right next to the converted TB ward. Approx. 10,000ghosts to keep you company.
ScaresYou: Gee, thanks for that.
ScaresYou: Found something weird here.I know I saw the layout of this place online somewhere. Someone findit and tell me what's between rooms 18 and 20.
ScaresYou: Nothing, my ass. I just wentinto both of the rooms and there's a big space in between. The roomwalls are cement, but the wall outside is just plaster. Do I engagein my first B&E?
ScaresYou: Somehow I knew which waythat question was going to go. Apparently, all of my readers arefelons. Eat your heart out, Dan Brown!
ScaresYou: Fire axe, meet wall. Wall,fire axe. Hey, they're tearing this place down, anyway.
ScaresYou RT@nahtanoj: This is the mostawesome thing ever. Better than Geraldo/Capone.
ScaresYou: Not a normal wall. It'salmost a foot thick. Had to take a break. But I'm through. Youhaven't seen darkness until you've seen THIS darkness. Glad I broughtall of these lights.
ScaresYou: I thought I lost this guy.RT@corpsechristie: u screwd up
ScaresYou: Okay, now I definitely gotrid of him.
ScaresYou RT@domino1212: What's in theroom already?!?
ScaresYou: Nothing yet. Can't see athing. It's a LOT bigger than I thought it would be. The hole lookslike it's fifty yards away. No sounds. No echoes when I yell, either.It's cold.
ScaresYou: How can there be wind inhere?
ScaresYou: Jesus, this place is vast.The lights aren't hitting anything. They're just getting...swallowedup.
ScaresYou: I tripped over a shoe. Awhite nurse's shoe! You know what? I'm heading back to the nice,normal part of the haunted hospital. This isn't worth a broken leg orcave-in.
ScaresYou: Yes, of course I'm takingthe shoe as a creepy souvenir.
ScaresYou: If I didn't know better, I'dsay the wind was following me. I'm that creeped out. Glad to be ridof that room.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: 2 late
ScaresYou: Okay, I didn't RT that.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u dint hav2 im out now
ScaresYou: What the Hell is going onhere? Did one of you hack my account?
ScaresYou @CarmenZ: No, I am definitelynot fucking okay! DID ONE OF YOU HACK MY GODDAMN ACCOUNT?!?
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: i did butnot n the way u think
ScaresYou: I swear to God, if I findout who's doing this, I'll put you under this place. That's apromise.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: tuff guy!tuff guys hav the rite to remain in pain
ScaresYou @corpsechristie: Fuck off,you psycho.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: nice shirt2 bad its got a big mayo stain on it now
ScaresYou: This prick can see mesomehow. I'm outta here.
ScaresYou: Back in the infirmary. Myshit's gone. He's here. Someone please call the cops. I'm not gettingthrough. I'M NOT KIDDING. HELP ME.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u hav therite to remain bleedin
ScaresYou: Someone please tell me thecops are on their way!
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u hav therite to remain screeming
ScaresYou: I see headlights. Thank you,thank you!
ScaresYou: Had a bad feeling and hid.Hear footsteps.
ScaresYou: Cop at the entryway. Lord, Irecognize him. I created him.
ScaresYou: Freaking out. Not hangingaround anymore. No place to go but back in. Send help. Please.
ScaresYou: Back at the hidden room.Remember how huge it is. Maybe lose him in here. Don't want to goback in.
ScaresYou:Yelling...gunshot...laughing. Footsteps echoing. Can't figure outwhere they're coming from.
ScaresYou: No choice. Going in. Roombetween 18 and 20. REMEMBER THAT.
ScaresYou RT@corpsechristie: u hav therite to remain in custedy 4evr
ScaresYou RT@jabbathehuffer: You okay,dude?
ScaresYou RT@tammycakes: You there?
ScaresYou RT@tapout247: I'm calling thecops again!
ScaresYou RT@liquorupfront: Damn it,say something!
ScaresYou: im fine thx talk 2 ya l8r
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