6 RIDICULOUS THINGS THAT CAN'T BE TRUE
by Sonja Stone
CHECK YOUR FACTS
The truth, like sex, is found in shades of grey.
My blog sisters have mentioned in recent days that as fiction writers, we rigorously research our topics before putting pen to paper. If we include a plot point that seems contentious, as responsible writers we do our best to explain to you, our reader, why you should feel comfortable suspending belief. If we fail at this task, our books are subject to the dreaded deus ex machina, aka, a person or thing that suddenly appears in a novel to provide a convenient solution to an insurmountable problem. For example, if my hero kills her would-be assassin in the final scene of my novel by clubbing him over the head with a bronze bust resting on the entryway table, I better have mentioned the bust in act 1. Makes sense, right?
Every so often, I hear a story that’s so outrageous I’m sure it’s a lie. My go-to fact-checking site is snopes.com. They investigate widely circulated internet headlines, well-known rumors, urban legends. More than once I’ve directed a distraught child to snopes to research some horrific story overheard at school (I remember one in particular: something about Spongebob and a butcher knife). Why do I use snopes rather than research the facts on my own? Because I care about the truth, but I’m also very lazy.
HYPERBOLE
On the radio yesterday, I heard an interesting comment issued by Corey Lewandowski, Trump’s former campaign manager. At a Harvard University forum, he said, “You guys took everything Donald Trump said so literally. And the problem with that is the American people didn't. They understood that sometimes when you have a conversation with people, whether it's around the dinner table or it's at the bar, you're going to say something - and maybe you don't have all the facts to back that up.” The journalist reporting the story then described Trump as the first president operating in a “post-factual world.”
Something about this turn-of-phrase struck me. A post-factual world.
JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM. MORE OR LESS.
Not everyone holds themselves to the stringent standards of my sister thriller writers. In fact, not all writers feel beholden to their audience. I often find myself thoroughly agitated while watching certain TV crime shows that feature medical impossibilities (yeah, Criminal Minds, I’m looking at you).
In any case, here’s a recent lineup of snopes.com investigated facts (followed by their verdicts). To read the full stories, go here: www.snopes.com (most of the headlines and descriptions are poached directly from their site. Or plagiarized, if you really want the truth).
1. CIA: Russia Interfered With U.S. ElectionsPoliticians and pundits are calling for further investigation into the matter.
CLAIM: The CIA has determined that Russia interfered in the 2016 election with the express purpose of securing the presidency for Trump.
VERDICT: TRUE
My take: Cyberterrorism is alive and well. How long till someone takes down the grid?
2. Bloods and QuipsAre ‘Blood Type Diets’ Actually Rooted In Any Science?
CLAIM: Diets tailored to one’s specific blood type are capable of reducing myriad ailments, improving digestion, enabling weight loss, and providing increased energy.
VERDICT: UNPROVEN
My take: I, for one, am thrilled that this claim remains unproven, as someone with my blood type should supposedly eat okra, dandelion, and alfalfa sprouts (ugh), and avoid black olives, mushrooms, and peppers (all of which were conspicuously present on the pizza I had for lunch).
3. StoutbucksStarbucks is testing a new ‘beer latte.’
CLAIM: Starbucks is testing a new “beer latte,” designed to mimic the distinctive flavor profile of Guinness.
VERDICT: TRUE
My take: Coffee and beer, what’s not to love? In retrospect, this is pretty obvious. How do you get those coffee house hangers-on to stay through lunch and into happy hour? Serve booze.
4. Topiary Cats The digital artwork of Richard Saunders is often shared with the inaccurate claim that they are “real” topiary cat sculptures.
Topiary Cats: as useful as real, live cats.
CLAIM: Images show several large topiary cats created by a retiree and artist named John Brooker.
VERDICT: FALSE
My take: I warned you not to trust cats. (FYI, the images are digital art, not actual topiaries. And created by Richard Saunders, not John Brooker. But it’s nitpicking.)
5. Santa Laws A story that the former Alaska governor called for the boycott after discovering that the mall had hired its first black Santa Claus is a hoax.
CLAIM: Sarah Palin called for a Mall of America boycott over its hiring a black man to play Santa Claus.
VERDICT: FALSE
My take: Yes, the woman hunts wolves from a chopper. That doesn’t mean she’s racist.
6. Lord of the DonutsAn image purportedly showing a donut with “Muslim writing” on it actually depicts a pastry with Orkish writing in frosting.
Orkish, not Arabic. I know, I know. Potato, potahto.
CLAIM: A photograph shows a donut with “Muslim writing” on it.
VERDICT: FALSE
(As an aside, apparently this translates to: One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.)
My take: Delicious pastries AND J.R.R. Tolkien? Sign me up!
There you have it.
This is Sonja Stone, reporting from our Post-Factual World.
What’s your favorite fake headline? Have you ever heard a story you knew to be false, but later found out was true? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
PHOTO CREDITS:CIA image: Brooks Kraft/Corbis via Getty ImagesAll others: from snopes.com
CHECK YOUR FACTS
The truth, like sex, is found in shades of grey.My blog sisters have mentioned in recent days that as fiction writers, we rigorously research our topics before putting pen to paper. If we include a plot point that seems contentious, as responsible writers we do our best to explain to you, our reader, why you should feel comfortable suspending belief. If we fail at this task, our books are subject to the dreaded deus ex machina, aka, a person or thing that suddenly appears in a novel to provide a convenient solution to an insurmountable problem. For example, if my hero kills her would-be assassin in the final scene of my novel by clubbing him over the head with a bronze bust resting on the entryway table, I better have mentioned the bust in act 1. Makes sense, right?
Every so often, I hear a story that’s so outrageous I’m sure it’s a lie. My go-to fact-checking site is snopes.com. They investigate widely circulated internet headlines, well-known rumors, urban legends. More than once I’ve directed a distraught child to snopes to research some horrific story overheard at school (I remember one in particular: something about Spongebob and a butcher knife). Why do I use snopes rather than research the facts on my own? Because I care about the truth, but I’m also very lazy.
HYPERBOLE
On the radio yesterday, I heard an interesting comment issued by Corey Lewandowski, Trump’s former campaign manager. At a Harvard University forum, he said, “You guys took everything Donald Trump said so literally. And the problem with that is the American people didn't. They understood that sometimes when you have a conversation with people, whether it's around the dinner table or it's at the bar, you're going to say something - and maybe you don't have all the facts to back that up.” The journalist reporting the story then described Trump as the first president operating in a “post-factual world.”
Something about this turn-of-phrase struck me. A post-factual world.
JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM. MORE OR LESS.
Not everyone holds themselves to the stringent standards of my sister thriller writers. In fact, not all writers feel beholden to their audience. I often find myself thoroughly agitated while watching certain TV crime shows that feature medical impossibilities (yeah, Criminal Minds, I’m looking at you).
In any case, here’s a recent lineup of snopes.com investigated facts (followed by their verdicts). To read the full stories, go here: www.snopes.com (most of the headlines and descriptions are poached directly from their site. Or plagiarized, if you really want the truth).
1. CIA: Russia Interfered With U.S. ElectionsPoliticians and pundits are calling for further investigation into the matter.
CLAIM: The CIA has determined that Russia interfered in the 2016 election with the express purpose of securing the presidency for Trump.
VERDICT: TRUE
My take: Cyberterrorism is alive and well. How long till someone takes down the grid?
2. Bloods and QuipsAre ‘Blood Type Diets’ Actually Rooted In Any Science?
CLAIM: Diets tailored to one’s specific blood type are capable of reducing myriad ailments, improving digestion, enabling weight loss, and providing increased energy.
VERDICT: UNPROVEN
My take: I, for one, am thrilled that this claim remains unproven, as someone with my blood type should supposedly eat okra, dandelion, and alfalfa sprouts (ugh), and avoid black olives, mushrooms, and peppers (all of which were conspicuously present on the pizza I had for lunch).
3. StoutbucksStarbucks is testing a new ‘beer latte.’
CLAIM: Starbucks is testing a new “beer latte,” designed to mimic the distinctive flavor profile of Guinness.
VERDICT: TRUE
My take: Coffee and beer, what’s not to love? In retrospect, this is pretty obvious. How do you get those coffee house hangers-on to stay through lunch and into happy hour? Serve booze.
4. Topiary Cats The digital artwork of Richard Saunders is often shared with the inaccurate claim that they are “real” topiary cat sculptures.
Topiary Cats: as useful as real, live cats.CLAIM: Images show several large topiary cats created by a retiree and artist named John Brooker.
VERDICT: FALSE
My take: I warned you not to trust cats. (FYI, the images are digital art, not actual topiaries. And created by Richard Saunders, not John Brooker. But it’s nitpicking.)
5. Santa Laws A story that the former Alaska governor called for the boycott after discovering that the mall had hired its first black Santa Claus is a hoax.
CLAIM: Sarah Palin called for a Mall of America boycott over its hiring a black man to play Santa Claus.
VERDICT: FALSE
My take: Yes, the woman hunts wolves from a chopper. That doesn’t mean she’s racist.
6. Lord of the DonutsAn image purportedly showing a donut with “Muslim writing” on it actually depicts a pastry with Orkish writing in frosting.
Orkish, not Arabic. I know, I know. Potato, potahto.CLAIM: A photograph shows a donut with “Muslim writing” on it.
VERDICT: FALSE
(As an aside, apparently this translates to: One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.)
My take: Delicious pastries AND J.R.R. Tolkien? Sign me up!
There you have it.
This is Sonja Stone, reporting from our Post-Factual World.
What’s your favorite fake headline? Have you ever heard a story you knew to be false, but later found out was true? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
PHOTO CREDITS:CIA image: Brooks Kraft/Corbis via Getty ImagesAll others: from snopes.com
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