Still Grieving For Her Murdered Daughter

Loretta Coleman was born on April 22, 1936 in Louisiana to Frank Harris and Ruth Roberts.  Not much is known about Loretta’s parents, but she says that she and her three siblings had a good childhood and that they were raised in a very strict Baptist household.  Loretta graduated from high school and was then sent to live with relatives in Chicago, where she got a job as a cook in a cafeteria.

At some point, Loretta was introduced to Roy Coleman, who worked at a meat packing house.  They began dating and eventually married.  Once she began having children, Loretta quit her job at the cafeteria and stayed at home.  She and Roy had a total of seven children before they ended up divorcing.  Loretta was then forced to go back to work as a cook, so the children had to fend for themselves while she was gone.  Loretta says that she later learned that Roy had passed away, but she is not sure of what.  She says that they were close in the early days of their marriage but that they drifted apart as time went on, especially when he started to stay out late, going to bars and picking up other women.

While that period in her life was difficult to get through, her biggest tragedy was yet to come when her youngest daughter, Winnie, was killed at age twenty-four.  Loretta says that Winnie had had a baby, Marcus, out of wedlock but was estranged from the father.  She lived a quiet life at home with Loretta, which makes her murder all the harder to accept, she says, because “Winnie didn’t lead that kind of life.”  Loretta describes her as a quiet, good girl who worked two jobs to support herself and Marcus and who sang in their church choir.  She was “a very good person,” Mattie says and still cries about Winnie’s death, which occurred just two years ago.

For some reason, Mattie says, Winnie agreed to meet up with Marcus’s father one night and left Marcus, then just one year old, with Loretta for the evening.  When Winnie didn’t come home, Loretta called the police, who later found Winnie’s body in a hotel room, where she had been shot to death.  The police eventually picked up the boyfriend and held him for a time, but they did not have enough evidence to convict him.  In Loretta’s mind, however, he is guilty of murdering her Winnie.

Following Winnie’s death, the care of Marcus now fell on Loretta.  Though she loved him completely, she did not think she could raise another child, especially with her own health issues, so she decided to give Marcus to her younger sister, who was living in California.  Loretta says that it almost killed her to give up Marcus, since he was a part of Winnie, but she knew she couldn’t give the baby what he needed and that it was for the best.  After he was gone, Loretta then grieved for both Winnie and Marcus and describes how she woke up so many mornings following the tragedy feeling good, having forgotten all about it for just a split second, before the truth would come rushing back and depress her all over again.

Not only has Loretta had to deal with her own sense of loss, she has likewise been struggling to help her son, Daniel, to deal with Winnie’s death.  Daniel, who also still lives at home with Loretta, was very close to Winnie, and after her death, turned to alcohol to cope.  Loretta says that he is now an alcoholic and that all she can do is hope that someday he will turn himself around.  Immediately following Winnie’s death, Loretta sought the professional help of a counselor, which, she says, helped her immensely, as did prayer.  She continues to urge Daniel and all of her other children to seek help, as well, in coming to terms with Winnie’s death, but she has had varying degrees of success in getting them to go.

Loretta says she takes one day at a time.  She attempts to go on as best she can and tries to keep Winnie alive by remembering the funny things she did and the good times they had together.  She also tries as hard as she can to keep in touch with her grandson, Marcus, so that he will remember his family in Chicago, but it is difficult.

Recently, Loretta has had to have her toes on her right foot amputated and was thus admitted to a nursing home to recover.  Another of Loretta’s daughters, Paula, and Daniel visit her frequently and are anxious for her to come home.  Loretta does not open up easily and seems reluctant to share all of her story.  She is a very private person and does not interact much with the other residents, who are all significantly older than she.  She spends her day doing crossword puzzles, reading the Bible, talking on the phone or watching TV, biding her time until she can return to her home.  She is a calm, patient woman, who will answer questions politely, albeit briefly, when asked, but the staff sense a deep sadness and loss about her and can see her grief in her eyes.

Originally written March 1996

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