I Don't Know How to Be Around You

I know I’m supposed to look for the good.
I know I’m supposed to be the bigger person.
I know that when they go low, we go high —

But I can’t.
Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
But certainly not yet.

I don’t know how to be around you.
I don’t know how to hear you tell me, “I love you,” or feel you embrace me, or eat food that you have generously prepared for me and not want to vomit or rage or weep.

When you do those things — good things — all I can think about is how you voted for crimes against women to b...