IT’S COMPLICATED

 

I understand some people being so angry they are having a hard time wanting to move forward. I read a lot of fear and sadness and hateful posts and I get it. It’s emotional. We have a lot at stake. I don’t judge you for it and I’ll never say “just get over it” because I hate it when people say that shit to me.

I haven’t said who I voted for. Why? Because it is deeply personal and I analyze and agonize and really take my vote seriously. I don’t get the president I hope for more often than not. It doesn’t matter though. I voted and I took it seriously. It’s important to me to be invested in the place I work and play in.

When my husband said he wanted a divorce I really only had two options in my opinion. I could be angry at him considering all the time I had invested in the relationship. I could make it hard on him and try to sabotage his success for having so easily thrown our future dreams away. But why? To what end? Would being angry and fighting for him make my life better? Would that make him love me again and change his mind? Would it make it easy on my daughter?

So many things you have to ask yourself when deciding to fight or negotiate. I always chose both. I fight when I know it it will be beneficial for the majority. I fought for me and my daughter on the things that mattered but I did it without anger and I did it with grace.

I couldn’t change the outcome of divorce but I could change what happened after. He and I communicate, we negotiate, and dare I say we respect each other so much more now than we did.

I like THIS POST because it shows a sense of balance. The road ahead might be really rough but it isn’t the first rough road we have traveled together. And we are traveling it together whether we like it or not. We can travel it like prison inmates who hate each other or we can travel it like individuals who try hard to have each others back. To respect each other. To realize we aren’t always right. We can listen more and talk less. We can think about things before we speak. Something I’m trying to learn.

The truth is we should save the fight for the issues. This election was fought for already. It was fought by men and women who fought to have a voice generations ago. It doesn’t always work the way we want but it IS our system.

I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be angry. What I am saying is there are productive ways to be angry and there are destructive ways. You get to choose. You are free to choose. And THAT is a beautiful thing.

 
Tagged: Beauty, Choices, COMPLEX, Complicated, Decisions, freedom, life, love, NaBloPoMo