How To Find the Genuineness in Other People
Do you have a message to communicate to others, or a wonderful service you want to motivate people to buy, or something good you've created that you want to offer to the world? If so, how do you find the people who will respond positively? Do you go out and knock at doors blindly, not knowing who is behind them? Or do you take your message to those who are already favourably disposed towards you – those who are genuine? If so – how do you find them?
This is probably the biggest question the advertising industry asks itself, and why, of course, market researchers are constantly in business, seeking people to answer their surveys, so they can identify those who may have an interest in their product. This also provides much to reflect upon when we consider the desperation that leads companies to employ telesales staff specially to cold-call people chosen randomly from lists of telephone numbers.
In the Bible we may find Jesus's opinion of cold-calling. St Luke tells us in chapters 9 & 10 of his Gospel that Jesus sends his disciples off to all the surrounding villages "to drive out demons and to cure diseases." But he tells his team to take nothing with them, and to go only to people who welcome them. In other words, they are not to go to those who are hostile or indifferent – only to those who are noble and pure, otherwise known as "people of peace." If the members of Jesus's team find they are not welcome, they are to "shake the dust off" their feet, and leave. "People of peace", he says, will welcome them, give hospitality, and listen to them.
Clearly those cold-callers with their lists of telephone numbers have given up on trying to identify "people of peace" who will receive their message positively!
Most creative writers know the pain of sending their manuscript out to publishers and agents, and being either ignored, or coldly rejected. It seems as if you simply cannot prevail against the huge wall of indifference, you cannot make inroads into hearts and minds. So how do those with something good to offer find people of peace? It seems that we are to go out with no pre-conceptions, be willing to be vulnerable, be willing to ask. Certainly this would appear to be a huge challenge in today's world. Who can we trust? And yet it seems a law of life that somewhere, we have to trust. Without it, how can we even get started?
I believe, therefore, that the essential quality necessary to finding the genuineness in other people is the willingness to trust – despite all the evidence of the world, ultimately you have to step out in trust. It is not possible to go far in an atmosphere of suspicion – witness the difficulties encountered by those who invade countries with the avowed intention of saving a population from an unjust dictator, and fail to consider how they are going to gain the trust of the people, in order to create a just society after the dictator has fallen.
So perhaps the answer to the question "How may we find the genuineness in other people?" is first to look at ourselves, and our own agenda. What do we bring with us? Are we open-hearted? Do we come with no pre-conceptions, no cynical reserve? This is not the first time I have cited the example of Rabbi Lionel Blue – vulnerable, self-revealing and real in all that he writes and says and is – no wonder he is loved and admired by so many. Simplicity, honesty and openness gravitates to its own – and so finds genuineness in others.
S.C. Skillman is the author of exciting new psychological thriller novel "Mystical Circles". The word "mystical" in the title is used ironically to mean "mysterious behaviour, events that keep you guessing, and people playing at cross purposes". Reviewers have enjoyed Skillman's "exploration of a community of complex characters who inhabit an eerie and atmospheric retreat" and have found it "a very entertaining read with plenty of action and sparky dialogue." If you are interested in people and their foibles you will enjoy this book. You can buy the novel on Amazon and through the Kindle Bookstore or visit the author's website to find out more. Click the secure payment gateway to buy a signed copy at http://www.scskillman.co.uk.
