A Famous Star

“The monster existed.  It was very deep within.”--as heard on July 15, 2009 while watchingHARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE movie
It’s Tuesday, September 4th and mom’s 55thBirthday is in two days.  I need to send her another card.   This coming Saturday I’m looking forward to another Newport Beach/Laguna Beach escape with Alan.  I’ll stay the night at his pad on Friday, September 7th.   I’m still finding it difficult to be an Advertising Sales man.  You’re only as good as your last sale.  I still haven’t sold any ads.   My focus is more on another job that it is on a first sale.  
I wanted to live in L.A. for at least 2 years.  That would mean November 1991.   Sometimes I feel alone here and want to move back to the Bay Area.   The only ‘real friend’ here is Alan.  No one really calls me (other than mom).   I do miss the familiarity of Northern California sometimes.   Alan kept pressing me to be confident, reminding me that Los Angeles is the land of opportunities. 
Paloma and Lottie wrote to me this week:
Lottie sent a funny postcard about Raising a Family and recommending to try RENTAL CHILDREN first.   This made me laugh, knowing she just had her baby Reida.   The postcard had noted:  REAL, LIVE KIDS DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR.   THOUSANDS OF MODELS, SIZES AND COLORS.   GREAT FOR COMPANY PICNICS.  Visit our showroom or sned for our full color catalog.   That was hilarious.
9-4-90Michael,Thinking of you…so a quick note to say “HELLO” and Thank You for the great postcard!I hope all is going well with your new job…CONGRATS.More later.  Take care…Maybe I should have considered this service.  Love, Lottie
Paloma’s letter was handwritten…
Balaruc, le 4 Septembre 1990Dear Michael,Thank you for all of your cards.  That was a really nice surprise to get such a long letter.I have less work now but I’m still very busy.  Right now my brother, Luis, is here with his girlfriend for three weeks.  Last night we went to SETE to have a drink in a very nice place but most of the time in the evening we play games.  One of these evenings I want to take them to LA TABLE D’EMILIE, the restaurant where we went together.  Just before my brother’s visit we had six friends (and 3 kids) who came also for three weeks (in fact they were customers last year and we became friends).   That is really fun but that means more drinking and less sleeping (and less writing)!
Well, that’s nice that you finally got the letter I sent in April!  Are  you sure it’s Alison you would like to meet?   She’s only 10 years old.  I guess you were talking about Lise.  She’s going to be “22” on the 13thof September.   I arrived to their house in Berkeley just ‘8’ years ago.   At the same time we used to celebrate her birthday and my anniversary.  One year her mom rented a limousine without saying anything, of course.   The chauffeur came to pick us up and we had a great time…Champagne on the Bay Bridge and stuff like that.   We went to Fisherman’s Wharf.   When we got out of the limo some Japanese people took pictures of us.   They thought we might be stars!  That was really fun…but you might already know this story.
Well, Lise was sorry she didn’t get to meet you here or in Barcelona.   She went to Barcelona by herself.  How come you’re talking about moving back North?   Is something wrong in L.A.?It’s now that you’re looking for a job that you should at the same time try to do something as an actor.  Isn’t it possible to try to find what we call in France “Figuration” which means that you’re one of the people in the back just walking there or whatever (an extra).  That might help you to get to know people.   I don’t know.  I’d love you to become a famous star.   I’m sure you would too!   This way I’m sure you’ll remember I’d love you before you became famous.   That’s the problem once you’re a star.   Everybody loves you because you’re a star!   You won’t know who to trust anymore.
I don’t really remember what I said about Ceauseseu’s Process.  Did you see it?Thanks for the puppet.  Jonathon loved it.Love, Paloma
AFTER DARK, MY SWEET I think I like dramatic, mysterious psychological thrillers more than anything.   Alan and I went to see a film called AFTER DARK, MY SWEET.  It wasn’t the greatest film but I enjoyed seeing it just the same.  I did love some parts of it.  
The film was starring the handsome Jason Patric and the beautiful Rachel Ward (from that movie that Paloma and I loved so much called AGAINST ALL ODDS).    We also adore the theme song from that film.   When I hear it…I ‘freeze in remembrance’.   Rachel Ward also played in that mini-series I liked called THE THORN BIRDS (I even read that book, a novel by Colleen McCullough).   Rachel Ward was born in Chipping Norton, England. 
The AFTER DARK, MY SWEET film was about an ex-boxer (played by Jason Patric) who is drifting around after escaping from a mental hospital.  He meets a widow (Rachel Ward) who convinces him to help fix up the neglected estate her ex-husband left.   Her Uncle talks them both into helping kidnap a rich boy for ransom money, and the ex-fighter must make decisions about his loyalties and what is right.   The copy on the advertisement has the words: “All they risked was everything.”

Sometimes I feel like I am taking high risks; although—in life—a high risk could lead to opportunity (or it could lead to a stalemate and one needs to start a new game).    I used the postcard from the movie to write to mom.  I made up a white lie and told her I saw the movie with Violet—even though I saw it with Alan.  I didn’t want Alan to seem to be too much ‘in the picture’.  
9-5-90Dear Mom,Tonight I saw this movie with Violet:  AFTER DARK, MY SWEET.   I guess we’re on speaking terms now.  The movie wasn’t that great.  It had a few good pints but rest-assured…GHOST and PRESUMED INNOCENT were better.
I am going to take a walk over to BOOK SOUP to see if they have POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE for you.  I really liked the book and I believe you will also.  
Have you been listening to your GHOST soundtrack on cassette tape that I sent you?  
I will probably come to visit in October.   I checked it out with Southwest Airlines.   They have roundtrip flights for $58.  I know you don’t want to hear it since you paid $62 one-way last Monday.  Oh well…at least you didn’t have to wait around until 9PM.
Tomorrow is your birthday.  Of course I will call you tomorrow.  I will be seeing you soon.   Read the stamp.  It means Happy 55th.  You LOOK great too!  Love You, Michael
September 9, 1990 Alan and I stayed two nights at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna Beach.   What a beautiful setting.  We adore the Newport/Laguna and Balboa Island area.
My favorite photo of the weekend was the one of Alan hugging the fake Grandma at the Art Gallery in Laguna Beach; however, there were some beautiful scenic beach shots.  
Our afternoon tea at the Ritz was the best.  I love the mini cucumber and smoked salmon sandwiches.  Delicious.  We’ll be returning…
“I’m not who I thought I was and I’m terrified that I never will be.”--as heard on September 11, 2012 while watching the film
THE WORDS, starring Jeremy Irons, Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana