When a Daughter Leaves for College It’s Not the Same as a Son

Joy cannot exist without sorrow. Ghosts are the embodiment of both: joy from their memory, sorrow from their absence. Life is a constant balance between antipodes, which is why melancholy is such a good word: It describes the simultaneity of joy and grief.

All of these come into play when a child leaves for college, except the child is not, in this case, the ghost. Her childhood is. The joy comes from launching the baby bird. The sorrow hits the moment we watch her fly away.

I know. I’ve bee...