Nonscents

Someone learned a long time ago that you could actually sell air and water primarily to women.  We've been over the hair care products, 99% water and 1% inexpensive chemicals.  Now how about air? 

  The Lovely Old Lady (LOL) likes things to smell nice.  Like all obsessions it starts slow. Maybe spray a little Lysol after I smoke a cigar or a little Fabreze on the couch if I sit down after a little roadwork. However, we have moved on to much more sophisticated, expensive and completely ineffective air freshening devices.

  The first device I refer to as "smelly sticks". This complete fraud alleges that if you place these "sticks" in smelly oil, the sticks will absorb and then emit the oil. The smelly sticks worked so well that discounters' Marshall's and TJ Maxx have boxes of them. Although not the Marshalls or TJ Maxx in South Boston as the LOL has bought them out at $19.99 a whack.

  The latest invention I can only best describe as a plug in "Chitty, chitty bang, bang engine." It's a bulb that's filled with some liquid that is somehow electrically transmitted into the air.  Apparently we have been using them for months. I haven't noticed any nicer odors but I have noticed at least $25 a month spent on this fraud.

  Well, at 4:45 this morning I was awoken by the following, ("Lords name in vain, F-Bomb, derogatory description of people who have sex with females who have children, Wake up you f-bomb, F-bomb.") I wasn't sure if we had been broken into or the building was on fire.

  Turns out I had misinstalled the device. I plugged in the container upside down and the oil all leaked out. My first thought was, "Why didn't we smell the release of such a large dose?" Apparently what made the LOL most upset was the device is no longer sold and that was the last of her stash.

  They must be working on a new way to sell air. 

KOKO