Child of the Portal , Ch4: The Funeral.

I sobbed when I wrote this, just as much as when I wrote Sam's death and not nearly as much as when I'd finished the book.

You've been warned, grab tissues or hankies before reading.

A short note though. I didn't kill anyone, I just recorded what unfolded in my head as I wrote. Sam never wanted to be in this one fully, but she needed to leave the ripples of her passing to colour the whole book. I let her take her own path. Other characters, similarly, told their own story.

The Funeral.

[image error]It was a little under a fortnight after Lily had brought Sam home and the weather was cool but not cold. The chapel at the crematorium was a brick building panelled inside with soft yellow wood. The chairs were the same colour. Soft classical music oozed from hidden speakers. Kate didn't remember choosing any music, maybe it was standard. The floor was the same pale wood but there was a runner of gentle green running down between the two sides of chairs, mostly empty. A smattering of familiar faces stood or sat waiting there. Kate noticed Miss Kinnersley the consultant and some faces that she thought might have been staff from the hospital. Rebekah sat towards the back with her husband at her side, she looked tired. Kate could almost feel Jack's hand on her arm and his quiet, supportive presence beside her. But he was not there. Lily was at her side. The older children had not wished to be here and Kate and Jack had felt the need to respect their wishes. So Jack had stayed at home with all five children.

Kate heard her shoes echo in the vast empty space. A man dressed in a sober black suit motioned them forwards. They would sit at the front. The coffin would follow when all had entered. She and Lily moved to the front row and took a seat. A pitifully small handful of people followed them and sat where they wished, scattered through the chairs on both sides. Kate stared at the coffin as it was carried past her, realising the standard pall bearers were not the men and women carrying the box that looked too small to contain Sam. Her view was blurred by tears but she couldn't tear her eyes away. They were dressed in dark clothing but it was homespun, neat, but definitely not suits. A tall man walked behind them, his hands tapping out a slow rhythm on a small hand drum. His eyes were fixed on the coffin and his face was set in a hard expression, angrily grieving. They placed the coffin on the plinth prepared before the shallow curtains and formed what looked like an honour guard to either side, pausing there for a moment, before moving to the back of the room. Kate turned to Lily with the question in her eyes and what she read on Lily's face made her anger rise.

"Who the hell is that?" she hissed.

"Tell you later," came back a whisper "It's fine, I brought them."

"No, it's not fine," Kate murmured back but Lily had turned away, head bowed and shoulders shaking as she sank back into her chair. Kate felt her legs shake and she sat too, unable to trust herself to stand. Barely able to breathe through the tightness in her chest, Kate stared into space through a blur of tears as she listened to words spoken that she blocked from her memory almost as soon as they had been uttered.

The drum persisted quietly with its complex and insistently woven rhythm throughout the short service. No hymns were sung, no prayers made. A short oration was given by the minister, a basic accounting of Sam's life and those she left behind. Kate and Lily, knowing who Sam had become, had chosen a humanist service and kept it very simple. Another remembrance would be held privately later. At least one, probably many. With the appearance of this group Kate suspected that more ceremony would take place through the Portal. They had taken Sam from her. If they didn't exist, if their world didn't exist, then Sam would still be here. Kate felt the tears begin afresh then, running over her cheeks. The curtains closed around the coffin and Kate still couldn't take her eyes away. The drumming man never silenced his drum and he and his friends waited as the coffin took its final journey. He murmured some words that Kate could not catch and, as the coffin disappeared from view, his fingers stopped tapping on the drum and the room filled with his silence.

Lily put her arm round Kate's shoulder and coaxed her upright so they could leave. Kate felt a fresh tissue being placed in her hand and used it to wipe her face. As she walked out, Kate felt herself wobble slightly and Lily steered her to a bench resting under a tree. Glad of the shade and the quiet, Kate sat. She watched as Lily walked to speak to the unexpected pall bearers. They greeted her with quiet dignity and respect. Kate didn't have the energy to get up and find out who they were and Lily led them all around a corner and out of sight. The flare of light, mostly hidden in the glare of late Autumn sunlight, wasn't noticeable to anyone not expecting it. Kate assumed she'd never see them again and was more than a little relieved when Lily came back round the corner alone. The other funeral attendees had wandered over, mumbled condolences, and left awkwardly. Lily was walking towards her and Kate suddenly needed to be moving, to be anywhere but sitting outside the crematorium where smoke was already rising from the chimney. She stood and joined Lily and they walked back towards the car.

"How did it get to this, Lily?" Kate asked with her face red and puffy from weeping but dry now she felt she'd run out of tears. "What happened?"

Lily shivered, letting her magic hold her together. "We need a long evening and a large bottle of wine for that question my friend," Lily replied. "Come on, in you get." She opened the car door and waved Kate into the back of the large, black car. "Let's go home." Kate shrank into one small corner of the large car and stayed there all the way home, gazing blankly out of the window. Lily sat where she landed, not wanting to move and Kate didn't look over to her, both allowed the numbness to wrap them and protect them.

Eventually they pulled up outside Kate's home where Jack's car and Lily's were parked nose to tail along the kerb. Kate opened her door and stood waiting for Lily who was speaking to the driver. Lily got out and came to Kate.

"Will you come in for a bit?" Kate asked.

"I'll have to." Lily smiled gently.

"What?" Kate looked sharply at her friend, confused.

"Andrew's in there. Jack has all of our children today, remember?" Lily took Kate's arm and led her into the house. The bubble of quiet calm that had formed around them was broken as they opened the back door and the noise of five children playing hit the two women. The girls hurtled out past Lily and Kate, heading for the garden. The raucous bedlam of four boys, racing cars via the X-Box, filtered through from the living room.

"Go ahead." Lily gently pushed Kate towards the door with one hand as she reached for the kettle with the other. A glimmer of a smile twitched Kate's mouth and she walked unsteadily to the doorway into the living room. Lily filled the kettle and switched it on. She watched Kate lean on the door frame to look into the living room where Jack and the boys were playing together. She saw the edge of a smile creep onto Kate's face and turned away as Jack came to embrace his grieving wife. Andrew could clearly be heard in the living room so, rather than disturb him, Lily carried on making the tea she knew Kate needed. As she popped the lid onto the steaming tea pot she turned to see Kate leaning her head on Jack's shoulder. Her eyes were closed tight against the reality that was so incredibly painful today. Kate's eyes slowly opened and she smiled at Lily, a sad, bleak smile that said she'd be fine. Eventually. Kate pulled away from Jack and came to accept the proffered mug of hot, sweet tea. Placing the mug on the table she opened a cupboard to dig out some home-made cakes.

"You don't bake?" Lily said, incredulous. "Who made those? They look and smell delicious."

"I thought it was time I learned." Kate blushed. "I've been practising." She put the tin of cakes on the table and sat next to Jack. Lily extended her senses a little and felt the confusion and relief mixed in with the grief coming from Kate. Eventually that would turn to a need to find answers. But just now the pain and grief flowing from her was being carefully held in check by the wave of numbness that swept over them all. Lily knew her own reaction would come later, when she was alone. After a long, awkward silence, during which they drank tea and nibbled at cakes, Lily rose from the table and went to fetch Andrew from the clutches of the X-Box and she took him home.

~oOo~

Drummer, Dove, Tracker, Tracker's brother, and two other Eysi walked from the flaring Portal and onto the grass that was left bare in the heart of the Eysi settlement. The Portal closed softly behind them as soon as the last foot had left the light and was safely free of the magic. Lilith did not follow. Drummer had hoped that she might but he knew, deep in his heart, that she would not.

Now, he finally believed it, finally felt it. He knew she was dead but the reality hadn't hit him until he'd stood and watched as the box she lay in was sent to be consumed by hidden flames. The ritual was wrong, the location was wrong but somehow it was right too.

Drummer waited until the next morning and then he made them build a second pyre for her, insisting that even without her body they should observe their own rituals and send her spirit onwards. Some told him he was wrong, that it was a waste of good firewood that they would need through the coming winter. One lone voice muttered that it would bring them ill fortune. But Drummer began to build the pyre anyway, starting as the sun rose and on his own, not forcing anyone else to join him. He layered some good, dry wood with the green and wove in fragrant herbs that he knew she had liked. By the time the sun was directly overhead he had been joined by most of the settlement and together they worked as the pyre rose to above Drummer's hips and until he declared it to be large enough.

Elder gathered Sam's clothes and the warm wool blanket from her bed, the blanket they would have wrapped her in for this. Healer stood with Elder as she laid them on the top of the pyre, a small pile of belongings that were all that was left of Sam in their world. Healer brought the flaming brand from the fire that burned almost continuously at the heart of the Eysi settlement. Drummer nodded for Healer to thrust it into the dry heart of the pyre to set it ablaze as the sun sank behind the trees.

That was chapter 4, and that's all you're getting. If you want to know what happens next, what Hiann does, what happens with Lily's realm, how Lily and Kate cope…… You'll have to read the rest of the book.

I'll be drawing a final 2 book winners this evening, Tues June 21st, there'll be one more short post here during the day, and then I'm going to take a short break. I'll leave you in peace to read…

Child of the Portal is now fully live on Amazon UK (Kindle), Amazon US (Kindle) and Smashwords (All ebook formats).

I hope you enjoy it.

Feedback, as always, is very welcome.

[image error]