Race and a Black Bird
The bird landed on the ground just a few feet from my toddler daughter. We were at a graduation party for a neighbor's son a few years ago, and my daughter was wandering their yard. Another neighbor girl, then 10, was tailing my little girl, helping entertain her.
As I pointed out the bird to my 1-year-old, I said, "Look at that pretty bird. He's black." The 10-year-old, hearing this, said, "That seems wrong to say that he's black." I laughed, understanding immediately what she meant. She had been taught well to try not to judge a person by their race or skin color. Her reaction is right on with how most of us are raising our children: just don't even talk about it.
I found her comment amusing, but the implications of this nervousness about talking about race less amusing. Is this really how we want to raise our kids? Isn't it better to teach our kids to talk openly and frankly so we can have good discussions? That openness should always be guided, of course, by kindness of heart, and examples of how generalizing can be dangerous. This is a parent's job.
I love the idea that we won't judge one another by our skin color. But we also don't want to raise children who are afraid to talk about race, do we? Otherwise, those with troublesome ideas or anger will just keep these attitudes festering quietly, out of sight where they are harder to address. You see how politicians draw heavy fire for any race-related comments. Eventually, they will stop talking about race at all, fearful of making a "mistake."
In my last post, I wrote about a woman who used the derogatory term "spic." The letter she wrote, if you look at my June 12 blog entry, was horrible. But it did illustrate for me how extremely emotional feelings can be when it comes to the immigration debate. And it made me feel I needed to write a book/script with this in mind, at least to some degree.
I have no doubt that the 10-year-old will grow up to be a wonderful, kind woman. She has a great family as an example. Not everyone does, though. But will we ever know the thoughts of those peers who grow up with lessons of hate? Will we know what lies under the surface with race-related debates in another 30 years? I'm skeptical.
As I pointed out the bird to my 1-year-old, I said, "Look at that pretty bird. He's black." The 10-year-old, hearing this, said, "That seems wrong to say that he's black." I laughed, understanding immediately what she meant. She had been taught well to try not to judge a person by their race or skin color. Her reaction is right on with how most of us are raising our children: just don't even talk about it.
I found her comment amusing, but the implications of this nervousness about talking about race less amusing. Is this really how we want to raise our kids? Isn't it better to teach our kids to talk openly and frankly so we can have good discussions? That openness should always be guided, of course, by kindness of heart, and examples of how generalizing can be dangerous. This is a parent's job.
I love the idea that we won't judge one another by our skin color. But we also don't want to raise children who are afraid to talk about race, do we? Otherwise, those with troublesome ideas or anger will just keep these attitudes festering quietly, out of sight where they are harder to address. You see how politicians draw heavy fire for any race-related comments. Eventually, they will stop talking about race at all, fearful of making a "mistake."
In my last post, I wrote about a woman who used the derogatory term "spic." The letter she wrote, if you look at my June 12 blog entry, was horrible. But it did illustrate for me how extremely emotional feelings can be when it comes to the immigration debate. And it made me feel I needed to write a book/script with this in mind, at least to some degree.
I have no doubt that the 10-year-old will grow up to be a wonderful, kind woman. She has a great family as an example. Not everyone does, though. But will we ever know the thoughts of those peers who grow up with lessons of hate? Will we know what lies under the surface with race-related debates in another 30 years? I'm skeptical.
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