Bruins Are Always Winners
The Boston Bruins won their last Stanley Cup thirty-nine years ago. Their last appearance in the Cup finals was twenty one years ago. You don't become that inept by accident. The unique combination of owner Jeremy Jacob's greed and front office mismanagement has kept the franchise mired in mediocrity (putting it nicely).
The Bruins fan base that grew up with the Big, Bad, Bruins of Bobby Orr, Derek Sanderson, Pie McKenzie and Gerry Cheevers used to bleed black and gold. Now Bruins fans after four decades of disappointment can only pee black and gold after drowning their sorrows in black rum and ginger ale. Nonetheless the B's fans remain both rabid and faithful. Almost every spring my buddy Fab calls and says this is the year the B's make a run.
The Bruins absentee owner Jeremy Jacobs has exploited this passion for his own financial gain. Jacobs is a billionaire who chooses to live in Buffalo, New York. That fact alone should tell you he is not a genius. Jacobs saying he wants to win makes Bernie Madoff look sincere when he said he could make you 20% in any market. All Jacobs wants is fannies in the seats with an $8 watered down, Busch Light in each hand. Jacobs knows the fashion challenged fans from Southie and Charlestown can't buy enough game, replica jerseys at $150 a whack. Despite having not come close to a championship in over 40 years the Bruins are one of the most financially sound franchises in sports.
Bruins management gets Jacob's message loud and clear. Harry Sinden was one of the worst general managers in sports history. For 26 years Harry had know idea how to draft, evaluate or compile talent. However, he knew how to sell Jacob's Kool Aid. A drink that gives the allusion of honestly thinking the Bruins can compete. When rising player salaries threatened Jacobs profitability Sinden single handedly convinced the owners to lock out the players. The sport whose popularity was dwindling at the time has never recovered. (The NHL's "national" television contract is with a fourth rate cable carrier: Versus).
The Bruins front office made the worst trade in the history of sports. No one (including fan fantasy leagues) had ever traded the league MVP in mid-season. In exchange for Hall of Famer Joe Thornton the Bruins' received some used Zamboni parts, wooden sticks (everyone now uses composite sticks) and athletic tape. The Bruins who are offensively challenged surmised they didn't need a 50 goal scorer. (The Bruins mantra has been defense, defense, defense. I have a news flash for Causeway Street, the object of the game is actually to score more goals than your opponent).
The Bruins have made a couple of good moves. They groomed Stanley Cup winning coach Peter Laviolette. The problem is they fired him before he won the Stanley Cup a year later with Carolina. He made it to the Finals last year with the makeshift Philadelphia Flyers.
If you added a wig and a clown nose to their current coach Claude Julien he could pass as Bozo. This is ironic in that Bozo would do a better job preparing his team to play.
The Bruins did draft David Krejci who is the best third line center in the game. The problem is he plays first line for the Bruins.
Mikey B of Supergenius is another big fan. When he went to watch the Bruins lose Game 1 to Montreal (shocker!, not) it negatively effected his relationship with my best friend Ben Franklin. About four Ben Franklins went from Mikey's pocket directly into Jacobs.
So until me, Fab, Daddy, Mikey and scores of others put down the Kool Aid the Bruins will continue to be winners. Meanwhile the heart and soul of the team the fans will continue to be losers.
KOKO
