Gay ex-NBA player John Amaechi weighs in Bryant's 'f*cking f*g' slur

Photo taken at the 2007 National Black Justice Coalition's Black Church Summit.

John Amaechi, the former NBA player who came out and shared his experiences as a gay man in pro basketball, was interviewed by USA Today about Kobe Bryant's homophobic slur on the sidelines. He has been fined $150K by the league (which he's appealing), and he's given two pitiful apologies that don't go anywhere near "I'm sorry, I was wrong." A snippet of the piece:

Q: And what do you think of Bryant's statement of "apology"?

A: I suppose that's the typical, "I apologize if you're offende"' type of comment. I doubt very much when he said that that he thought Bennie was a pile of sticks. There's only one contemporary meaning for that.

The problem we have now is because of the way we don't address homophobia, the ultimate insult to a man is to tell them either they're like a woman or worse, that they're gay.

We have to take it as unacceptable as a white person screaming the N-word at a black person. ... I can tell you that I've been called a f--- fairly routinely, and yet people seem to hold off on calling me the N-word. We've got to mirror that progress.

Q: If you were the NBA commissioner, how would you have punished Bryant?

A: There would certainly be a fine. I'd like to know what the response would be if a white and gay player had called Kobe a nigger. My concern is that the penalty axed on that player would be greater than this penalty.

But at the same time, what I would want is to encourage Kobe to use the power he has to really make an apology that means something. Tell black men, men in general in America, that resorting to that sort of language is the lowest of the low and is unacceptable. And it doesn't make you any more of a man. That's really the answer. Saying you didn't mean it is not the answer.

Amaechi, who is now an occupational psychologist, says the response by the NBA is "considerably better" than other pro sports teams. He noted that a couple of gay friends in the NFL has dealt with death threats from teammates.
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On a related note, I received an email from CNN's Randi Kaye today, asking if I could come on in the afternoon to discuss this case.

Sigh. I'm on the day job and busy. That sucks. It's the kind of intersection of race and sexual orientation that begs for more available gay POC to get on the air. John's the perfect talking head to have on.

Anyway, I replied, weighing in on the debacle:

To answer your question, as I am black and gay, the Kobe slur is inexcusable. He should know better, and as a public figure has to realize that his choice of words matters. Surely he wouldn't have appreciated someone dropping the N-word cavalierly in the "heat of a frustrated moment."

The fact that he had to issue 2 versions of an apology - the initial statement and then the one he made to HRC's Joe Solmonese -- shows that he, like many politicians and public figures, find it difficult to say the words "I'm sorry, my outburst was inexcusable. I was wrong" -- and mean it.

That, in my opinion means much more than a $100K fine. But if fining someone is what it takes to teach them a lesson that his employer doesn't tolerate bigoted statements, then so be it. The money means less to me than the sincerity of understanding that tossing "fag" around has implications. It makes bullying of youth easier, provides comfort to those who use "fag" casually to demean straight, gay or non-gender-conforming men. Words do matter -- all oppression is wrong.

Related:

* UPDATE: Kobe Bryant offers apologies after use of homophobic slur against ref