iamhomeless:
All the voices in my head
are growing up, getting...
All the voices in my head
are growing up, getting married,
having babies & buying houses
in neighborhoods with better
school systems.
I pretend us all growing apart
doesn’t hurt but it does.
Today I ate McDonald’s & got
my head shaved but I’m still scared
& horny & the hair on my back
makes me feel unlovable.
I used to think constant aloneness
equated to being independent
but now I just think it means
you’re a difficult, dramatic human being
whose company can only be tolerated
for a semi-prolonged period of time
before people need to get away from you
for the sake of their own
white picket fence-sanity.
Lately I’ve been contemplating home
surgery where I gouge my eyes out
with a plastic spoon so no one can see
the gaggle of inner demons circle jerking
in the rusted, abandoned playground
behind my eyes because even though the voices in my head are leaving I know
my inner demons never will.
But I’m starting to think maybe
I want it that way.
Fuck me. Fuck my inner demons.
Fuck the voices in my head
& fuck you too.
I wish the sky had a face
just so I could spit in it.
