Before. After. This all started from a conversation had...

Before. After. 

This all started from a conversation had yesterday. Someone put me in the category of androgynous, and I queried it.

Me: I guess my face is, kinda, from a certain angle. But I love my flowy clothes and my hair is way too long for actual androgyny. 

Them: It’s more, when I hang around with you, it’s not like you’re a guy, or a girl, you’re just a Nikki.

Funny thing. I love my clothes, but I hate my hair. I’ve pretty much always hated it. Regardless, I seem to constantly come up against the idea that beauty, for women, means long hair. Last time I cut my hair this short, I was in the middle of depression and grief and didn’t want anyone to find me attractive. 

Today, I feel like I’m coming full circle. I don’t want to be found attractive “as a woman” but I’m just fine with it if people find me attractive. As me.

I want to look on the outside the way I feel, and seem to be expressing, from the inside. And this year is the year for all the big statements. So it’s all gone. Photos of me are from two months ago, and today.