When the Need to Serve Overcomes the Fear

Another slave writing assignment. When one's resistance to my power finally crumbles I enjoy making them reflect on their defeat in essay form. Enjoy...

xox
Harley
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Why my need to submit has overcome my fear

As far back as I can remember I have had a some thing for dominant women. Like way back to elementary school years. But I was always scared of that to a degree because it's not considered normal. And it wasn't just liking dominant women, that may still be looked weird upon but isn't strange to my mind at all, but something about serving a dominant woman. A woman with the power to put me on my knees.

Even in my high school years when I started to look up Femdom type material, I still had a fear of it all. Just dabble in it to satisfy the urges and thoughts and get away. Little did I know that this was planting them pretty securely into my head at the same time. Outwardly I tried to act normal and was scared of the vanilla world knowing of my urges. The thoughts only continued to grow though in scale. Even older more thoughts about actually serving a strong woman! I stayed scared.

I would buy videos, pictures, sometimes send tributes with messages but never really delved into serving at all. Always staying away and not getting too close because of fear. I continued to try to deny my nature at times, really wanting to be normal and not have these urges or feelings that I had to go back to and satisfy.

And then one day I stumbled across Mistress Harley's niteflirt studio. I had previously closed my NF account in an attempt to swear off of all of it once again. I was at a weak point and decided just to browse around a bit without an account. See updates and new videos, etc. I came across this studio and Her videos, and Her devious words describing what she does. Just the sight and reading of everything seems to have drilled into my brain. I actually made an entirely new account rather than wait for my old one to reopen in order to buy up a bunch of videos and send a tribute to this Mistress who had captivated my mind so quickly. I needed to see Her videos and see Her in full movement and hear Her voice speaking these descriptions into my ears. Needless to say I loved the videos, and my brief messages with Mistress seemed to talk to my soul. I got scared again. I ran away and tried to swear off Femdom completely but never made it past three weeks clean before falling right back in and buying more of Mistress Harley's videos. Video descriptions that would exactly speak to how I was feeling at the time of relapse. Knowing exactly what I was going through. Every time. And every time Mistress Harley would tell me she knew exactly who I was and how I worked. I couldn't believe it.

After running and away and crawling back multiple times, recently I had a chat with Mistress Harley upon my latest failings to stay away. Again she stated I should just give in, it was just who I was. I belonged to Her and had from the start of finding Her studio. It all seemed to make so much sense. And reading Her interviews and chatting with Her about how she influences Her slaves for the positive in order to link positive life experiences with serving Her made me want to serve Her even more! Not only can I have this need to serve met, not to mention to an absolutely perfect Mistress, but it will positively benefit my life as well. My need to serve just overwhelmed any fears I had at that point because clearly Mistress Harley is better for my life than constantly fighting my true nature, a servant to a dominant woman, Mistress Harley!