Today I’m feeling rebellious. I’m free to wear my flamboyant orange tights, cast my smart trousers and sensible shoes aside and throw yesterday’s soggy packed lunch into the bin. My creative juices are flowing free and I’m eager to weave the jumble of words thundering around my head, into a creative project or two.
I have, albeit temporarily, been freed from the shackles of work, college and… homework, which, as much as I try to bury my head in the sand, I must do later. Not that rebellious, eh? Oh, the joys of being a mature student.
As part of my college course (I am studying full-time, FETAC Level 5 Business Administration) I was requested to carry out two weeks of work experience. I am the oldest work experience girl in the history of the world, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, I finished said work experience yesterday. I was very lucky to get my placement working in the finance department of a big pharmaceutical company. Having had no experience of office work at all, this was a brand new experience for me. I carried out tasks such as data input, filing and updating supplier details on the system. On my final day I worked in HR, and enjoyed getting stuck in to some typing and other work which I am more familiar with and giving me a bit of variety. The people I was working with made me very welcome and I found my confidence and skills growing as the days passed. I was grateful for the opportunity, but…
So, where is this all leading?
With more exams to go before I finish my course in the summer and start job hunting, I find myself feigning excitement and enthusiasm at the idea of starting out in the world at the grand old age of fifty, working full-time, and collapsing into unconsciousness on the settee at 8.00 p.m. each night. I find myself wondering if there’s something wrong with me! Maybe I have some sort of condition that makes me morbidly exhausted all the time, or is this just reality for everyone who goes to work/college all day and then has housework/homework to catch up on at night.
More importantly is the fear that I will never have time to indulge in my writing projects. I rarely have a spare moment these days with college, assignments and studying for exams. It’s very slow progress where my new novella is involved. I had aimed to have the series of three at first draft stage by last Christmas, but now I’m aiming to get this book (number two of the three) finished by next Christmas. And I can’t remember the last time I wrote a blog post which wasn’t a book review.
So what do I actually want out of life?
In an ideal world I would have tons of money in the bank, a car that works, has doors I can lock and a number plate slightly more modern than 1999. My mortgage would be paid off instead of being around €60,000 in negative equity. I would divide my time between writing and promoting my best sellers, and cultivating and harvesting an array of sumptuous crops in my vast vegetable garden and poly-tunnel (which haven’t yet materialised even after twelve years of nagging).
So what happens next?
Even if I worked every hour of every day, and some overtime, I could never achieve the above and, truth be known, when I was at home every day, with all the time in the world for my writing I still complained. Am I just one of those people who are never happy?
The best plan of action, I think, is to look for a part-time job, wean myself in gently, test the water and see what materialises.
This way I will be a valuable member of society, working every day without killing myself in the process. I will be happy in my job during the day, and still have some time to write. I might even get my series of novellas finished by Christmas! (Incidentally they are to be entitled: The Seasons of our Love, Branded and Fiddlers on The Roof).
I’ll still be in negative equity (but then most people are) and driving around in a dilapidated banger but at least I’ll have achieved my much sought after work/write
balance… I hope.
Thank you for reading my blog post today! Watch this space for an update on my next book. And, in the meantime, happy reading and writing!
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